No Longer Alone
by AlwaysSeptember
Summary: What if Peeta had returned to district 13 not hijacked? How will this effect the war? Katniss?
1. Adding fuel to the flame

**An: OH MY GOSH! HUNGER GAMES! How did y'all like it? I thought it was good. So new story excellent… **

I walk around the ruins of district twelve. This is where my bed was. I played there. I look at the destruction the capitol has brought. District twelve is in ruins. I walk slowly. Trying hard to keep the tears from falling, but they fall anyway.

I can't bear it anymore, so I motion for them to lower the ladder down from the hovercraft. Gale's there helping me up. He sees the tear tacks and hugs me. My only thoughts are this isn't Peeta.

We're in a meeting, listening to Coin blab on, me deciding if her hair's a wig. Gale's hand finds mine. I don't like it. I don't like how this feels at all. So I slip my hand out and set them on the table. I don't look at him; I'm too afraid of what I'll see.

I can literally feel the tension radiating off of us. I want to scream until an official comes in. "There's a capitol broadcast streaming." Coin flips the TV on. It's Peeta. I sprint to the television pushing down two men.

"Hello everyone, welcome district twelve's victor, Peeta Mellark!" Caesar says smiling at a non-existent crowd. "Peeta you're looking fit." Caesar says shaking his hand. My hand rests on Peeta's cheek, I can't feel him. Just the electricity radiating off of the tv. Only proving to me that he's gone. Gone in the capitol.

Peeta laughs hollowly. He doesn't look good. He's skinny; to skinny, his eyes are dull and almost lifeless. They tried to cover up the scars and bruises, but they didn't do a very good job. "Yes, Caesar, because torture really helps."

The smile is wiped off Caesars face. "Now Peeta,"

"No, Caesar they should hear this. I get electroshocks every day. Beatings, no food, no water, oh and you can't forget the water torture!" Peeta says. They are going to kill him. But electroshocks? They're hurting my Peeta. Another thing to fuel the fire.

"What do you think about the war?" Caesar asks trying to change the subject.

Peeta looks directly at the camera and says "Now they prepared for me to call a cease fire, but I'm not going to. They'll probably beat me harder for this; hell they might kill me! Don't stop fighting. Whatever you do don't stop. Stay strong. Remember who you love…" he trails off. "And who loves you." Then we see is face twist in pain and the screen goes black.

"Peeta!" I call out helplessly. I can't help but feel that, that was directed at me. "Peeta!" I screech again. I feel Gale's hands on my shoulders.

I push him off me. "Get off." I sprint off. I rip open the door to my favorite hiding spot; a storage room. I sit in the bathtub and curl into a ball and cry. I cry hard, letting out the choked dying animal sounds. I scream Peeta's name. I scream at the capitol. Yelling at them for taking my Peeta.

Prim slips in and sits with me. She holds my hand as I whimper. We don't say anything for a while. We don't talk we just sit.

Prim breaks the silence. "Gale told me what happened." She said it quietly as if she didn't want me to hear.

I put on a brave face for Prim and try and carry the conversation. "Yeah, it's hard seeing him… knowing I could have… could have…" I can't finish. She doesn't make me. Just nods her head.

"So you love him?" she asks. Do I? If Gale would be in the same position would I be like this? I can't be sure. I just feel so broken. So incomplete. It scares me.

"I might." Is what I whisper after minutes of quiet. "Do you think I do?" I ask her sitting up.

She smiles a small secretive smile. "Yes, from the very beginning. Whether you've known it or not, you've always loved him." She steps out of the tub. "Its dinner time Katniss." She walks off, closing the door silently. I shudder at the word always.

Dinner is awkward. Gale and his family usually sit with my family. The only open seat for Gale was next to me. We spent that evening trying not to touch accidently. It was awful.

"Mrs. Everdeen, Mr. Hawthorn? Come with me." Coin's right hand man, Boggs, tells us. We exchange glances, I mouth I'm sorry, he nods. I hug him behind Boggs' back. He kisses the top of my head. I feel annoyance bubble inside me. I'm not sure why.

Boggs shows us into a room and closes the door. There's a long table in front of us. Sitting there is coin and a few soldiers.

"Sit down Solider Everdeen, Solider hawthorn." We sit waiting. "Katniss, be our Mockingjay?" oh it's this. I don't know. Should I? I remember what Prim had told me. To make them give me something, in exchange for my cooperation.

"Can I have a pen." I ask my voice shaking slightly. "And some paper." When I am handed what I asked I start my list.

Buttercup. My sister's cat we found in twelve.

Immunity for Peeta, no matter what he says.

Gale is by my side. I refrain from using the word always. It's only for Peeta. Peeta…

My little sister can help in the hospital.

Then I think about Finnick and Annie and add with number two: and all captured victors. Then without me knowing it I write in a shaking hand.

I KILL SNOW. I give my list to coin reading them down one by one.

"Number one. My little sister, Prim, can keep her cat and work at the hospital with my mother."

"Fine. It can be arranged." Coin says. Her mouth forming a tight gray line. Like everything in this place. Tight and gray.

I cough awkwardly. "Number two, Peeta and all the other captured victors are granted immunity. No matter what." I avoid Gale's eyes. Eyes I can feel burn into my head.

"Fine, seeing as Peeta has only helped us, that can be sorted." She whispers something in Boggs ear and he nods.

"Number three, Gale is at my side most of the time." I glance at Gale, who is smiling. It makes me feel guilty.

Coin just nods. "Lastly, I kill Snow."

She smiles at that; a small tight smile, but a smile never the less. "I'll flip you for it." Is all she says.

"Fair enough. I'll be your Mockingjay." Then my thoughts wonder. "You must tell the people of district thirteen of the immunities you've given and announce my agreement." I tell her firmly

"Of course." She says sharply and shortly as if sick of me. Boggs whispers something, which Coin smiles at. "Good news Mockingjay. We've found your voice. Peeta and the others have been found!" I look at her waiting for her to burst out and say "JUST KIDDING!" but she didn't.

"Really?" asks a voice. I whip around and see the lovely Finnick Odair standing there. "Even Annie?" he whispers.

"Yes, Mr. Odair they've been located. Planning to save them has begun. It could be weeks though." She tells us. My face falls a little. "Dismissed." She tells us. We disperse.

"Finnick! Nice to see you." I tell him. He hugs me tightly.

"How you holding up?" he asks me quietly.

I look at him confused. "Come on Everdeen! You're the only one who doesn't see it! How are you holdin' up without Peeta?" He gives me that, save your energy I already have the world's secrets look. Giving me a glimpse of the man I met in the games.

"Oh." I swallow. I've decided to give everything to Finnick. I trust him. "It's been hard." I whisper. "I need him. When I don't want him he's there, and when I need him he's not. Finnick I'm so confused." I say it helplessly. I'm so confused, I just want to go hide.

Finnick just smirks. "There's a quote a friend told me. We don't know what we've got 'till we lose it. Just remember that Everdeen."

He's walking away when I yell "Get some pants Odair!" he's only in a hospital gown.

He wiggles his eyebrows. "Why? Do you find this…. Distracting?" he say ripping off the gown, striking a ridiculous pose. I laugh and bid him goodnight.

I dread the dreams that come. I haven't had a good night's sleep in months. Because of Peeta. A voice in my head whispers. I want to deny the thought but I know it's true. I lay there for hours, just staring at the ceiling. I worry about Gale, Prim, my mother, but Peeta mostly. Prim's worried about him too; he was kind to her, like a big brother.

Days later Haymitch visits me. He's not drunk, seeing as there is no liquor available in thirteen. So he's in a foul mood.

But he brings good news. "We found Peeta and the others." His gruff voice tells me. I hug my knees to my chest, nodding. Confused, he knows I already know this. "They've relocated them," he whispers. "Meaning our spy doesn't know where they are." I close my eyes and tears fall.

"The rescue mission has been abandoned for now." He looks at me. "Until they find them of course. He adds hastily.

I nod and walk out of the room. I open the supply closet door and sit down in the bath tub. Only then do the sobs start. I scream, cry, kick, and punch. I accidently punch the bathtub and my knuckles bleed. The pain feels good so I keep doing it. I look around for something. I find a needle and start cutting. If Peeta's going to be in pain so will I. I watch the blood seep out of my arms and legs. The door opens as I cry. My tears and blood mixing.

"Catnip? What have you done?" he lifts me up and carries me off. "Doctor! I don't know what happened!" the doctor talks for a while, but all I hear is buzzing. "This is the Mockingjay!" Gale screams. All of a sudden I'm the most important person.

They try to bandage me up and stop the bleeding. I can't allow that. I kick and thrash. A needle in injected into my arm. The world fades to black.

I awake to the sound of beeping. It's rather annoying. I open my eyes and my brain registers I'm in the hospital. I look around. Sitting on a chair next to bed is Haymitch with his face hidden in his hands.

"Haymitch?" I croak out. He looks up, visibly relaxing.

"How long was I out?" I ask taking a sip of the water Haymitch ordered for me.

"'Bout four days." He tells me. Then he grins from ear to ear. "They found him."

Huh who? I wonder. "Peeta and the others." Haymitch whispers quickly. Said that out loud. Whoops. "We're sending a rescue squad in about a day and a half." He tells me.

"I might get Peeta back?" I shout. Haymitch nod sitting back down.

"Alright girl on fire, what happened? More boy trouble?" he asks me.

I glare at him. Saddened by what happened. "No, I cut myself. If Peeta was going to experience pain so was I."

He rubs his chin, looking at me. He considers something, and then he smirks. "So, we were right, you do love him?"

I feel my face heat. "Who is we?" I manage to croak out.

"Everyone but you and Peeta." My heart breaks a little at that. He pats my leg and gets up telling me about some meeting.

I sit alone in my bed thinking. They're going to get Peeta. They're going to bring him back. Back to me. I miss him. I miss his smile, I miss his arms, I miss his laugh, his genuinely kindness about him, I miss his blue eyes, and I most of all miss him.

Hurry back to me Peeta. I don't think I can stand it much longer.

**Sooo… what do y'all think? Anyways. I still can't believe I saw the hunger games. Hunger games… what did you guys think? The acting was phenomenal. Lack of character development though. I give it an eight. **


	2. Finding my dandelion

**So I decided to add the second chapter today cuz I am so awesome! Right? ;) So how was your weekend? Mine pretty much sucked. I had softball training then tournaments all weekend. Tomorrow is our ensemble for band! Yay. **

_I might lose both of them today._ I might lose Gale, who is going on the rescue mission to save Peeta. Peeta, I've always had the threat of losing him. I sit in a room with Finnick, who has his knees to his chest rocking back and forth. My thoughts wonder. I'm really worried. What if he's weak and can't make it out? What if he realized he doesn't love me? I think about what I'll do when he gets back. I'll hug him I'm sure, but how do I really feel about Peeta Mellark.

I love him. Not like I love Gale, I love him more like a brother. It's weird how I feel about Peeta. It's definitely not brother sister love. Not with everything we've been through. I hug myself and wish Peeta's warm arms were around me. Did I just think that? I want to go hind, but Finnick won't let me. My thoughts wonder again. Peeta… I miss him. More then I though. What would happen if they messed with his mind? Make him hate me? Make him want to kill me? 

What if he tries to kill me? No! I'm sure he'll kiss me, or at least hug me. I touch my lips absentmindedly. I want to feel his warmth. Not the cold metallic taste of Gale. Who tried to kiss me yesterday.

"_Gale? What are you doing here?" I whispered. He looked around hurriedly. The hovercraft left in mere minutes. _

"_I had to do something." He tells me. What? Do something? Okay? _

_Then he cups my face and kisses me. I try and pull away but he holds me there. He lets me go after a couple of minutes and looked at me. "I had to do that, once at least. Before I lost you again." Before I had time to question him he was out the door, leaving me with my thoughts and nightmares._

I had felt guilty afterwards. So I ran and hid. I found a good place. A closet with fabrics and silks. I burrowed myself in and cried. Finnick found me curled up in a ball whimpering. He told me I stole his spot. I smiled. Then he held me while he cried. Telling me he knows how I feel, that everything is going to be alright. We didn't sleep last night.

I try hard not to think about Peeta, but my thoughts keep drifting. My thoughts are interrupted by Finnick. "Are you thinking about Peeta?" he asks me with a small smile.

"Yeah." I whisper out, giving a sheepish grin. He nods.

"You fool no one." He tells me. He returns to fiddling with his piece of rope. Tying a noose, untying, and retying. Sometimes he does other knots, but he says he wants his noose ready for when they tell him Annie didn't make it. I smile sadly at him, and grab a rope for myself.

Its hours later when Haymitch comes in. Panting. He doubles over, trying to catch his breath. When he does however he delivers the deathblow. "They're back." Before he even finishes me and Finnick are up and sprinting. We reach the hospital, nearly knocking over four nurses in the process.

"Where is she?" Finnick demands shaking a nurse. "Where's Annie?" he screams.

"Finnick is that Finnick? I hear Finnick!" a female's voice yells. "Finnick!" we hear. I turn around. Standing there is a girl in her early twenties with brown flowing hair. Her eyes are bluer then the sea.

"Annie!" Finnick breathes out. They run to each other. They collide and sink to the floor. Annie looks bad. She's got bruises and scars. She's malnourished and too skinny. Anyone could see that. I see Johanna Mason being wheeled out on a gurney. She's worse.

She's way to skinny; her hair is greasy and matted in clumps. She's got more bruises and scars then I think possible. Her eyes have a clouded torture look. she motions me over. Barley strong enough she whispers. "He's worse. Much, much worse. Just make sure you suck it up and realize the truth and tell him. For me?" he is Peeta. He is worse than Johanna. How is that even possible? The truth being that I really do love him. I must tell him. I have to.

Peeta! Where is he? I run over to a nurse, the very nurse Finnick shook. I repeat what Finnick did. "Peeta! Where is he? Where?"

I'm on the verge of tears when Haymitch saves the day. "He's down the hall sweetheart." My eyes are bright with anticipation.

I make Haymitch show me. I push him until he does. "Ah Miss. Everdeen! Let me just go through some safety procedures then you can see him!" I shove him aside and open the door. I hear noises of protest and Haymitch's voice saying. "Let the poor girl go." I'm in the observation room and see a panel of glass. I notice that Peeta is already awake. I can't see him, but I see his blonde halo of hair. He's sitting up doctors surrounding him. I'm disappointed that mine was not the first face he saw when he woke.

My hand rest on the cold door knob and fear creeps up on me. After all these months am I ready to face him? "Go on Catnip." I hear Gale say behind me. I turn to face him and nod. He looks pained. I brush it aside. To be addressed later.

With a shaking hand I turn the door knob. I open the door. A doctor turns to me and smiles. She whispers something to the other doctors who look at me. They all smile. A few of them leave patting me on the shoulder.

"Peeta, you have a visitor." A female doctor says warmly at Peeta.

"Really who? I thought my family all died?" oh gosh it's really him. It's his voice speaking. He's alive. He's him… tears slide down my cheek. I wipe them away quickly.

"No, it's not family. Here I'll let you see for yourself."

She moves out of the way. Peeta's attention is turned to another doctor. There's his face! It's him! Sure a beat up version of him. A _very_ beat up Peeta. I squeak slightly at the shock from seeing him.

The doctor looks up at me, Smiles and nudges Peeta. Peeta looks up. "Katniss? He whispers. I lunge myself at him. Hugging him so tightly.

"Don't ever, ever do that again Peeta Mellark!" I say between sobs. Peeta just hugs me and doesn't say anything. I feel the warmth radiating off of his skin, his arms, and his too skinny torso. I pull back to look at him. Really look. Johanna is right he's worse. He's covered from head to toe with bruises and scars. His nose look recently broke. His hair is greasy. He's malnourished, probably a little dehydrated. I look at his eyes. Still the same brilliant blue.

"It's you. The real you." I squeak out. I'm holding his neck and looking at him. "This is real right? I'm not in some sick nightmare?" I ask the doctors.

Peeta smiles a little. "If you are then I am too." He whispers. I kiss his forehead.

"I've missed you so much." I tell him.

Disbelief crosses his face for a few seconds. Then he smiles at me. "They told me you were dead. They played your screams all day for two weeks. Epically after the interview." The smile fades. His eyes get the clouded torture look that Johanna had.

"I'm sorry Miss. Everdeen you have to leave." A doctor tells me.

Haymitch comes in followed by Plurtartch and Gale. "No, she doesn't extended hours!" Haymitch says rudely.

The doctor nods and walks off. Peeta and I are still wrapped up in each other. I'm not letting go. "So Peeta my boy, how you been?" Haymitch asks, as if Peeta was on a vacation rather than being a prisoner.

Peeta goes with it. "It's good. The food was a little disappointing though. I smile against his neck. His grip on me tightens a little. I kiss his cheek. Remembering what Johanna had told me I blush. I look at the men surrounding Peeta's bed. Plurtarch and Haymitch are in a conversation with Peeta about the different types of torture. Gales looking at Peeta and my bodies, how we're wrapped up in each other.

"Alright Miss. Everdeen, this time we really have to go." I look at Peeta who smiles slightly. Letting go of me. I frown. Terrified that when I let him go he'll be gone again.

"Come on Catnip." Gale says quietly. He's holding out a hand.

"Go on, you can come see me tomorrow. Okay?" Peeta whispers in my hair. He kisses me neck. "Goodnight." He tells me.

I stand and walk a little. Not taking Gale's hand, which has dropped awkwardly at his side. I squeak remembering the nightmares and how much I need Peeta. I turn around. sprinting to Peeta's room. He's still talking to Haymitch.

Gale comes in behind me. "Come on Catnip."

"Can I stay?" I whisper. "with Peeta." Peeta looks surprised. Haymitch looks smug. The doctors nod. I hug Peeta again.

I turn around and notice Gale gone.

Lying in bed with Peeta again is indescribable. I've missed him so much. When he smiles awkwardly at me, while I look at him, I kiss him. It feels good. I feel that thing again. The hunger that overtook me at the beach. It can only be ignited by Peeta. I knew deep down this is what would've happened anyway.

That what I need to survive isn't Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. Only Peeta gives me that.

"Peeta, I'm sorry it took so long to say it but it's true. I'm probably blind and ignorant for not seeing it but Peeta Mellark, I love you." His blue eyes are wide with surprise. His moth forms an 'o' shape. He scans my face for a lie. Not finding one he kisses me.

"I love you too."

**Thank you guys so much. Reviews would be appreciated! Thanks so much! Finding my dandelion **


	3. I need you

**Update yay! So you guys really love non-hijacked Peeta! So do I. I'm afraid I had some other ideas so you might hate me this chapter. I'm going to apologize ahead of time… sorry!**

I wake with a start. The carpet imprinted on my cheek. I sit up stretching. What? I thought I was with Peeta. No… it can't… I won't…

The door opens. It's Finnick. "Hey, Katniss. What are you still doing in here?" he crouches next to me.

No, it was all… just a dream. My eyes water as I run. I don't stop running either. Not until Finnick catches me anyway.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I tell him about the dream, how Annie and Peeta had returned. He gets a haunted look about him, and his face darkens. "They sent out a rescue mission yeah, but there were some… problems. They had to come back." That brings out sobs. Loud choked sobs escape my throat, the awful dying animal sounds echo through the hallway.

Hours later I sit in the conference room, listening to our re-rescue. I'm crumbling; I don't know how much more I can take. It scares me. How can I be this helpless? This crazy? It has nothing to do with Peeta, right? Feels emerge and float about in my head, what do I feel about Peeta? I can't answer my own question, my thoughts are interrupted by the television blinking to life.

The capitol seal appears; soon Caesar's face does too.

**The slanted letters are what's being said via-television. Yeah italics or whatever… again sorry… **

"_Hello Panem! It's been a few weeks since we've seen him, but no one could forget him!" _no, I inwardly groan. Please don't do this to me. Not… "_Peeta Mellark!" _yeah, him. I don't think I can watch.

I prove to myself I can when Peeta emerges. I run to the screen getting as close as possible, again. I almost break down and cry right then and there. He looks worse than he did in my dream. He has a scar running down his cheek; his eye is black eye (which they tried, in vain, to cover up.) he's basically skin and bones, his eyes have a clouded torture look about them, his arm is in a sling. I'm crying; hard.

I manage to wipe my tears away to watch the video. Peeta sits; grimacing.

"_So, Peeta how have you been since we last saw you?" _Caesar asks as if in a normal interview.

Peeta plasters on a fake smile; well a close enough one. "_Just dandy Caesar. Do tell me, is it tradition to_ _get captured and beaten here?"_ Peeta asks as if it was a normal question. Like how's the weather?

Caesars smile fades, he coughs. _"So, Peeta do you have anything to say to your family?"_

That's when Peeta's plastered smile gets replaced with a scowl. _"Before I die? Nope."_ He says popping the 'p'. Before he dies? What?

I hear Finnick gasp, and moan slightly. "He's prepared to die. Oh god! He's gonna do something that will get him killed! He doesn't want to live anymore!" he whispers out the last part. My head snaps up.

"What? No, I'll kill myself before that happens." I scream it out; before I think of course.

"You weren't kidding then?" Finnick says smiling. "You were thinking about him! You do love him!"He shouts, grinning like a madman. "I knew it! Knew it! Knew it!" Finnick screams while sort of dancing around. I feel two grey eyes drill into my skull. I look up. It's Gale. He scowls and his face darkens.

I turn my attention back to Peeta. "_No, Caesar. I don't think so. I'm nothing. If anything I'll just help the rebellion if I die."_

"What about Katniss?" Caesar asks softly.

Pain flashes across Peeta's face. His blue eyes sad. _"She never loved me."_ No, don't tell them, not here. Not now. _"I_ _loved her, it's my entire fault! No one would be dead if I had kept my bloody mouth shut!"_ he's getting upset at himself.

"_Peeta, I'm afraid your interview is almost over. Anything you would like to say?"_ Caesar asks with a smile.

Peeta puts on a sweet smile. _"I do. Katniss… beat their asses for me and Johanna. Okay? Don't stop_ _fighting!"_ the screen cracks. It comes back again. "_I love you, remember that! Just forget me okay?"_ he smiles again. His blue eyes directed at the camera. "_I love you baby. Get safe. If not you'll be dead by morning!" _

Then the screen goes black. "No! Peeta! No…" the tears start. I feel Gale's hands on my shoulders, trying to pry me away from the tv. He sits me down on a chair and holds my hand; as I calm down.

Boggs rips the door open, and swiftly walks over to Coin. He whispers something. Coin returns it with a frantic look. "Get your family's to your assigned bunkers. Now!"

Then she gets up and sprints off. I sit there for a moment as I let it sink. Then the pieces fall together. Dead by morning, bunkers, hurry. They're bombing us. I grab Finnick's hand and we sprint off together. I make it to my family's bunker to find Prim on the bed playing with buttercup.

"Prim!" I exclaim. "Hurry, grab Buttercup, and take Finnick's hand." She does as she's told and we run. The sirens go off and Coin's voice cracks over the intercom.

"This is not a drill. I repeat this is not a drill! Take your loved ones to your assigned bunkers. Please do not panic. The capitol bombers will arrive in approximately ten minutes." Then there's silence. Over the intercom of course. There's screaming, and sirens. We reach the bucker and sign in. we sit there waiting for my mother.

She comes a minute later, looking tired and worried. Prim rushes to hug her, I stay seated.

It's hour later when Boggs makes his way over to me. "Everdeen, Odair. Good you're alive. If it wasn't for Peeta, none of us would be. You see I had my suspicions when he was interviewed again, and they only increased when he told us we would be dead by morning. So we scanned the sky and low and behold there they were. They had used Peeta as a distraction." He tells us about the new rescue plan how it's already in action. The rebels are in the capitol, in fact they might even have them rescued now.

I hug Boggs when I hear that. He turns stiff and board like. So I let go. Finnick hugs me then. He spins me around laughing. "I'm going to see my Annie!" he screams.

"And I get my Peeta back!" I screamed after, laughing all the while. I hadn't realized Gale was watching the whole time.

They had searched the ruble for survivors. There were three. Two of them died because of crap in their lungs. At least that's what Finnick said. They had only bombed a section, the only section visible to the outside world. It wasn't even a major wing. Just a living quarters. Yeah nothing major. That's what Coin had said. But it was a major wing, people died there. We lost fifty seven people. I hadn't known a single one of them.

I watch as they close up the hole the bombing had made. A little girl stands there holding hands with a girl about sixteen years old; she looks like an older version of the little one. The little on has bright red curls and brown eyes. She clutches a flower in the other hand.

In a very loud voice she says "Bye, mommy, bye daddy, sissy and I love you. I miss you already, come home." She sets the flower down and walks off with her sister.

Correction, now I feel like I had known two of them.

I sit with my knees tucked into my chest, on my bed. Finnick is on the floor, tying the bloody roes again. It's been days since I've actually slept, for a few hours at least. I watch his slender fingers move quickly around the rope.

"Finnick, how did you know you loved Annie?" he drops the rope and looks up at me startled. 

"Well, we were best friends as kids, and I dunno. After my games I realized I loved her. Then she had her games and all hell broke loose then. I just couldn't think of a day without her being not here, not with me, not safe." He shivers. "I think that's how it is for you." Finnick whispers an hour later.

I don't say anything. I don't have to. He already knows.

I rock back in forth on the brink of insanity. Gale didn't go on the mission. The one he was on was a decoy. A phony. They had purposely messed up. The capitol had noticed them coming too. So our plan worked out great. I hum softly, my eyes droopy, but I refuse to sleep. So I slide on the floor and take an extra rope from Finnick.

Prim brought us tea around one in the morning. She can't sleep either. She had told me she was worried about Peeta. She was scared he wasn't going to make it; not after what he had said in the interviews. We had seen Snow talking to some official about how Peeta messed up, how he was supposed to call a cease fire.

I miss Peeta I really do. I lo- wait what? The feelings start to creep up on me. They come from every direction. As if suddenly unlocked from a crate. These feelings are something I've never felt about anyone before. _Ever. _Before I have time to really question these feelings and decipher them, Haymitch opens the door.

"They've made it."

**Annnnd end chapter….**

**April fools! Jk! I decided to give you the reunion. This one is real I promise! Well maybe… **

"Did they make it? Who's alive? Is she okay? Where are they?" Finnick demands shaking my mentor.

Haymitch holds his hands up as if surrendering. "That's all I know!" so we run, we don't stop. Only when we reach the hospital do we stop.

Nurses are standing there checking the rebels who went to rescue them. They're all alive. That's not good enough for Finnick. "Where is she!" he screamed.

"Finnick! I hear Finnick!" a female voice yells. Annie Cresta emerges. They run to each other. I smile, no one would, or could, doubt their love.

"Come on sweetheart." I hear Haymitch say. He's smiling. I smile too. He leads me down a hallway. He opens a door that opens into a large room with two big windows.

"Observation." He tells me. I glance into one. Lying there knocked out is Johanna. She looks bloody awful. "He's in here." Opening the door, I take a breath.

A bed is surrounded by doctors; I see his halo of blonde hair! He's alive… he's here! I'm upset that mine, was not the first face he saw, but he sees it now.

"Katniss?" he whispers. It's him. It's his voice! I only nod; the tear streaming now. He stands up and makes his way over to me. I expect him to kiss me or something, but he doesn't.

"Hi." Is all he says. He smiles softly, which I return.

"Hi." I whisper back.

He hugs me. It's him! His warm arms! I squeeze him, and hold him tightly. He grimaces and pulls away. What? He lifts his shirt reveling long slashes across his torso.

"Whippings." He explains. I trace them with my fingers. I spot a bruise where my hand was when I hugged him. My hand touches it briefly. He grimaces. "That. That was hell to get. I'm not even going to explain." He tells me. Doctors surround him again. My hand finds his and I don't let go. I'm too afraid to. If I do he'll be back in the capitol.

We sit on his bed while he eats his first real meal in months. I watch him; his blue eyes still have the clouded torture look that he had during the interviews. The interview plays in my mind again.

"You're wrong you know." I tell him.

"About what?" he asks softly.

"In the interview, how you said you were no one, that you weren't important to anyone, how no one would care if you were dead. Truth is Peeta, I would care. You're someone to me. I was broken without you. I'm sorry but…"

"No, it's okay. Forget about me okay? I've caused enough pain as it is. N one need me," He hangs his head. I sit next to him; I take his hand.

"I need you." I tell him. "Listen Peeta, it's not your fault. You know there probably wouldn't even be a rebellion without you. You were the reason I held up the berries. I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't live without you." he looks at me in shock. I don't even let him respond before I grab the back of his neck and bring his lips to mine.

He tenses, after a few seconds I can feel him relax. He starts to kiss back, his arm wraps around my waist. We stay like that for a few minutes just kissing.

"About time!" we hear a number of voices scream. Pulling apart I look up to see Finnick, Annie, and Haymitch grinning at us. In the background I see a gloomy Gale. He notices my eyes and turns around and walks away.

**So I'm in Alaska right now… good news I got to see Mason! Which was great! Bad news his grandma just died. the funeral is on Tuesday. Did you guys like this chapter? I did. Oh again last chapter it was real up to the part where Haymitch came in. that was her dream. Yeah. Until next time… lots of love. oh and Mason… he says hi. **

"


	4. Promises Amongst the Ashes

**Wazz upp my homiezz? I'm good thank you! So I don't think I have anything to say. OH WAIT!**

**I'M CURRENTLY co writing **_The beginning to the End_** with Girlonfire10203. Yep yep yep. Go checks it out!**

It's been a few days since I saw Peeta last, and I miss him. The doctors claim he needs rest and multiple surgeries. Haymitch says Peeta asks for me. I'm better now that Peeta's back; now that I know he's okay. I feel more whole. I'm at lunch when some other nameless doctor comes over.

"Miss Everdeen? You can see Peeta now." He states and gives me a kind smile.

"Reweay!" I say a mouth full of food, spraying it on Gale. "Oh! I'm sorry." I exclaim at Gale swallowing. He gives me a half smile. I can tell it's forced.

"Have fun girl on fire!" Finnick shouts from our table. I'm halfway across the room when he yells "Don't get to carried away! Don't do anything I would do!" he grins at himself like he's brilliant.

I just smile and laugh. "No promises!" I yell back. I didn't notice Gale's face darken. I practically knock over the doctor that came into the lunch room.

"Follow me Miss Everdeen." He says ruffled slightly. He brings me to the hospital then down a hallway. I'm giddy with excitement. I get to see Peeta! My thoughts are nothing but Peeta. Gale, Prim, Finnick, the rebellion seem to fade away. I just want his warm, solid, steady arms around me. I want to feel his soft lips against mine. I just want… him. It's not a nagging need, it's a desperate need. Almost as if I must have him; that I will never be whole again without him. The feeling scares me.

"Through here Miss Everdeen, third door. Have a good day." The doctor bids me farewell and rounds the corner. I slip through the third door to find Peeta sitting up on a hospital bed; glaring at some merchant girl.

"No, I will not forget her! Go screw yourself!" Peeta snaps at her. Wow, I've never seen him like this.

The merchant girl gets closer; clutching Peeta's arm. She says something; I guess pretty revolting because Peeta wrinkles his nose in disgust. "No, I'm not gonna… Oh God no! Get out! Go! Don't ever, ever, ever come back!" I bite my lip to keep from laughing.

The merchant girl turns on her heels; tears streaming down her face. She pushes past me muttering something under her breath.

I make my way toward Peeta; who is rubbing his neck with his eyes closed. I sit down on the bed and take his unoccupied hand. His eyes snap open; blue meets gray.

"Katniss," He says tiredly. Squeezing his hand I smile softly.

"I've missed you." I say softly, looking into his deep never ending eyes. He smiles softly.

"Me too." We sit in silence for a few minutes holding hands.

"Who was that?" I ask him referring to the girl that was here a while ago.

Peeta rubs his face exasperated. "Oh her, yeah her name is clover or something. She's the florist's daughter or something… she asked me out when we were fifteen, she's been my personal stalker. It's annoying. She told me to forget you and get with her…" He trails off. I sit next to him; still clutching his hand.

He kisses my temple softly. "But I can't forget you or get with her. That would suck… she's awful. Anyway getting her would mean I'd lose you. I don't want to lose you again." He says into my hair.

I laugh; I play with his fingers for a while, while we just sit. I wrap my arms around him; wanting to feel closer. Needing to feel closer. I burrow my head in his neck kissing it softly. "I can't lose you either." I whisper. We stay tangled like that for a while. Arms around each other's wait; just talking and laughing. The subject of torture comes up.

"It was awful." Peeta says flatly. Scowling slightly. "Annie was so scared. We were beaten so hard I wanted to die." He stops and closes his eyes, releasing a shaky breath. I hold him tighter; resting my chin on his shoulder.

He bites his lip his face darkening. "They physically tortured us yeah beatings, electro shots, water torture. But there was mental torture; given by President Snow himself. He told me you were dead of course after he played your screams for about a month all day. It was awful. Especially for Annie…" He doesn't continue.

I sit on his lap. Looking him dead in the eye I smile. "Your safe now, you're here with me. So just forget." I wrap my arms around his neck. He smiles and looks down. "Hey," I say grabbing his chin, making him look at me.

"You will try and forget right?" I ask still holding his chin. I trace his jaw line, cheekbones, his eyes, his nose, and the outline of his lips. "For me?" I whisper against his lips. His blue eyes show conflicting emotions sadness, pain, slight confusion, want, uncertainty, but the one I see most; love. I only hope my eyes show the same emotion.

"I can try." He whispers; voice cracking.

I rest our foreheads together. "Peeta Mellark," I say smiling.

He smiles back, brushing his lips against mine for a millisecond. "Yes, miss Everdeen?" He asks grinning.

"Don't do that to me ever, ever again. You are never allowed to be captured and tortured again! I don't think I can bear it. I was crazy without you; unstable without you." I say not joking at all.

"I won't if you don't." Peeta says grinning.

"Peeta do yo-"I start but I don't finish. Peeta's lips capture mine before I can. I don't return the kiss for a few seconds. When I do I feel Peeta relax. As if he was taking a chance, could have blown it with that kiss. Our limbs tangle, legs twisted around each other, arms hugging each other, desperate to get closer to each other. Feel each other's warmth, just become one.

I put everything I can into this kiss, pain, loss, want, need, love… We pull apart; resting our foreheads on each other's again. Peeta and I grinning like idiots.

"There are no cameras, so there is no need to play pretend." He says his face darkening. I can tell torture has darkened Peeta slightly.

"What if I'm not playing pretend?" I whisper heavily against his lips.

"Wha-"I don't let him finish before my lips crush on his. I feel him stiffen then relax. Our bodies naturally press closer together, needing each other. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I feel hungry for Peeta, I need him. Badly.

"Katniss," Peeta moans as we pull apart. "Please don't do this to me. I don't think… no I know I won't be able to take it. If it's not… not real."He looks desperate for answers, desperate for the truth. Something he's been deprived of for… a while.

"It's real. I promise. I wouldn't do that to you." I bite my lip. "Again." Peeta's face changes slightly. I can't place it.

"I love you." Peeta says capturing my lips again. It quickly gets passionate. We press closer, gripping each other tightly, our limbs twisting around each other again. When we pull apart; Peeta kisses my neck, collarbone, and jaw line. I moan slightly; feeling goose bumps up and down my arms. I feel Peeta's teeth against my flesh when the moment is ruined.

An awkward cough echoes through the room followed by "Uh, Catnip."

Peeta pulls his head from my neck, blushing. We both are actually. Gale looks at our tangled limbs, and arms wrapped up in each other. He scowls not at me, but at Peeta. As if it was his fault I need him.

"Hi…" I say squeaking slightly. I cough. "Hi Gale, do you need something?" I'm still gripping Peeta's hand; who by the way is biting his lip.

"Coin needs you for something. Actually both of you. Meeting." He says.

"Really?" Peeta asks arching his eyebrows. Thank god they let him wear normal clothes; not some stupid hospital gown.

"Yeah, come on." Gale says looking pained. It's as if he can read minds because the emotional wall comes up. His face becomes a gray slab of nothing. I stand up not letting go of Peeta's hand.

Gale falls in to step behind us as we make our way towards the meeting room. I glance back to find Gale glaring at mine and Peeta's intertwined hands. I look up at Peeta, who is biting his lip in uncertainty. He notices me staring and smiles slightly, but it looks forced almost. I squeeze his hand give him a look of worry. He squeezes back and shakes his head slightly.

We reach the room and I pull Peeta in with me. The first people I see are Finnick and Haymitch. I ditch Gale and sit down with them; clutching Peeta's hand like a life line.

"Peeta, looking good." Finnick says, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah, I've been better though." He says his eyes still clouded with that look. Finnick gives him a sympathetic look, which Peeta grimaces at. Before I have time to even ponder that Coin struts in.

"Ah Mr. Mellark thank goodness, your Mockingjay was going a little crazy without you!" Coin says making my face heat. "Katniss, we're here to discuss the Mockingjay agreements. Seeing as Mr. Mellark has been rescued any specific changes you would like to make." Coin asks being very odd.

"Well immunity is no longer needed, but I will ask for _Peeta _to be with me at all times." I say quietly.

"So, no longer Mr. Hawthorn?" Coin asks me arching her eyebrows. I glance at Gale who is expressionless. Then I look at Peeta who raises his eyebrows at me. "I must ask, was the whole star-crossed lovers fake?" Coin asks me breaking the silence.

"It was, but it's not now." I say honestly. Looking at no one but Peeta; who is grinning with his head bowed, to hide it.

"I see." Says Coin sharp and short. "Well the announcement of your acceptance will be this afternoon. Around four. So make your way to the auditorium once you are summoned. Mr. Odair we will discuss things later." She stands and walks off, waving to Boggs.

"Glad to see I'm being replaced. How does it feel Mellark to be an afterthought? Second choice?" Gale spits across the table; once Finnick and Haymitch leave.

Peeta looks exasperated and tired. "Listen it's not like I stole her. She made her choice. I'm not forcing anything." He says it so calmly and evenly. I watch Gale glare him down then strut out of the room. Peeta just puts his head down on the table letting out a breath. I play with the hair on the back of his head. His hair is like rays of sunshine. So are his eyelashes.

"Come on Mockingjay." Finnick says poking his head in. I stand up poking Peeta.

"Peeta, come on." I take his hand again and we walk.

"People of district thirteen!" Coin booms into the microphone. "We have our Mockingjay! Katniss Everdeen has agreed!" I tune the rest of her long speech out. I'm sitting on the stage holding Peeta's hand. Still.

OOOooooOOO

"Hey guys!" Annie says grinning from ear to ear; sliding into a seat at the table. We're eating dinner, well mush really. "Guess what!" she bursts.

"Finnick and I are getting married!" She exclaims without letting us guess!

Finnick beams kissing Annie. "Have you told anyone?" Peeta asks.

"Nope!" Finnick says popping to 'p'. "I don't know how to tell everyone. Or where…" Finnick says trailing off.

"I have an idea. But I have to ask you first." Peeta stands and whispers something to Finnick. Who nods smiling bigger.

"Yes, do it!" Finnick beams.

I give Peeta a puzzled look. Peeta stands on the table careful not to stand on our food.

"Hey everyone!" Peeta yells. "Hello! Shut up!" Peeta screams after being ignored. The whole lunchroom falls in silence. "I have an announcement."

"You and Katniss are getting married!" a girl screams in the distance.

Peeta smiles and points at her. "No, not yet! Maybe someday!" he says looking at me wiggling his eyebrow at me. I laugh and whack his leg.

"How 'bout a kiss!" a man from district seven shouts. Oh no. Peeta's smile slides off his face.

"No, we don't like pda… So anyway-"

"Please! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" the chanting grows louder and louder. Finally I cave in. standing on the table I grab Peeta and kiss him. It's quick, short and sweet. Exactly what they need. I sit back down, blushing.

"Um, okay… Finnick and Annie are getting married!" Peeta yells and sits down. Annie blushes and laughs. Tears of joy stream down her face as she giggles.

OOOooooOOO

"Mr. Mellark checked out of the hospital a few hours ago. He's in room uh- let's see… room 2276 in the singles area." The nurse says. Tapping her long fake nails on the table.

"Thank you. Have a nice day!" I say.

"_2273, 2274, 2275 ah… 2276." _I knock on the door three times. The door swings open. "Katniss," Peeta says. I smile.

"Hey, can I come in?" I ask.

"Of course, come in." he says opening the door wider. I look around the room is smaller than ours. There's a bed slid against the wall, with a desk, and two chairs. Easels and paints are around the room. I look at a few, which are only sketches. It's a dark painting- the one I grabbed-; it's a man tied up, his half dark. The other half light and all you can see is a female's hand.

"It's beautiful." I tell him sitting down on the bed. He sits next to me.

"It was a dream. This." He says gesturing to the canvas. "The night I was saved I had a dream I was chained to a wall, a girl –I'm guessing, I couldn't see her- surrounded by light. She saved me… I think it was you." He says nuzzling his face in my neck. He plants soft lingering kisses down my neck. It sends shivers down my spine.

"Like I could ever save _you_." I say emphasizing the word you.

Peeta's head snaps up from my neck. "What's that supposed to mean." He whispers. I turn so I'm sitting directly in front of him.

"Peeta, you're so undeniably good. You're kind, sweet, smart, and just I don't know… so perfect, and I'm so… not." I fumble with the words, dropping his eyes. He lifts my chin with thumb.

"Katniss, how wrong you are." He mummers on my lips. I close the distance between us, pressing my lips against his. We kiss for what seems like eternity. When we do pull part Peeta grins. We talk for a while, until he tries to stifle a yawn.

"Goodnight Peeta." I tell him kissing his forehead. Then I get a thought. "Can I stay?" Peeta nods and opens the covers so I can slide in.

Laying my head against Peeta's chest listening to the steady beat of his heart; feeling his warm steady arms around me is a luxury I've missed. I think I'm slowly falling for the boy with the bread.

**OOOooooOOO **

I'm sitting in a hovercraft waiting to be deployed to district twelve. I never wanted to go back; but Peeta needed to. So I naturally went with him. I haven't spoken to Gale in a few days, but I've felt his cold glares from across the rooms we're in. "Alright we are approaching district twelve. Are you guys ready?" Haymitch says gruffly.

We nod and I lace my fingers with Peeta's. We descend down the ladder, quickly approaching the ruins of twelve. I watch Peeta carefully. Fist he just stands there and looks his blue eyes hard, then we shuffle our way to the merchant area; my gaze shifting to my feet. Peeta stops short. I look up from my feet. It's the bakery. Peeta bites his lip and drops my hand. I don't pursue. He needs space. I watch him walk to the canter of the bakery- or what looks to be the center- and just stand there; eyes shut. He falls to his knees shoulders shaking in sobs.

I make my way over towards him. I rub his shoulders, but I don't say anything; I wouldn't know what to say.

"They didn't deserve this." Peeta cracks out. "Not even my mother. Did you know my oldest brother Rye was supposed to get married? But he never got that chance, because of me. It's all my fault… all mine…" more sobs bubble and ripple from his throat as I hold him. I cry with him. Mourning over the losses.

"Listen Peeta, I promise you we will make their deaths important. I promise they won't die in vain." I kiss his cheek as we mourn amongst the ashes.

**UM… yeah. So. REVIEW! **


	5. Pretend

**I'M SO SORRY! I would have updated sooner but last week was shit! My uncle committed suicide and I had to go to Mississippi for his funereal. I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! Y'all are freaking awesome!**

"Alright, let's take it from the top! Katniss, more emotion please!" I glare at Jendall, who was the director for the propos. He was so intense and kind of crazy if you ask me. But he was capitol, what can you expect.

"Action!" Cressida yells. I take a breath then spin around, trying to look fierce. I shoot a bow a couple of times, then shout at the camera.

"Fight for the rebels!" Very original.

"No, no, no!" Jendall had exclaimed. "More emotion!" I wanted to ring his scrawny little neck. "Peeta, how about you go." Peeta sighs and shrugs his shoulders.

He gives me a sympathetic smile. I kiss his cheek and hand him the bow. Jendall's eyes go wide.

"You two are you… are you…?" He trails off gaping.

"Together? Yeah, I suppose." Peeta say casually rubbing his neck. He's tired; I note. He just wants to sleep. I look at my arm, where my schedule is printed. I have lunch then class next. I ignore my schedule most of the time; unless it's important. I smile at Peeta who stands in the middle of the green screen awkwardly. He returns the smile, it's a tired small smile; but it radiates Peeta. I watch Jendall and the crew murmur and whisper words unknown.

Peeta drops the bow and makes his way over to me. I smile at him sympathetically. "Hi." He says playfully, grabbing a lock of my hair twisting it around.

"I have a question for you." He says softly. I raise my eyebrows at him. He continues. "What are we?"

"What do you mean?" I ask him confused.

He takes a deep breath. "Where do we stands?" I glance into his endless pools of blue.

"We're just two people who have suffered and lost, trying to figure things out." I reply softly, unsure of where exactly where any of this is going.

Peeta looks like I just killed him. "Is that all?" he cracks.

"Well, what do you want me to say?" I sound desperate even in my own ears. He looks at me for the longest time. He cups my face and kisses me.

"Tell me you want me, you need me, that you love me. Tell me I'm not just another… escape. Or something. Tell me you're not just using me to… keep the nightmares away!" he says desperately. I stand there, unsure of what exactly to do.

"If it's all pretend again let me know." He walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I fall to the ground, my legs giving out from under me. I have been awful to him; I've strung him high and dry so many times.

I skip lunch. I lay in bed sorting through my thoughts and feelings. Do I really love Peeta? How do I really feel about him? I don't know the answer to those questions. I feel a sense of dread when I think about love. I'm just so unsure of everything. I needed help. Advice. I really needed Peeta. I'm taken aback at that thought. Me? Possibly need someone? How do I even begin to think about this?

"Katniss!" Prim shouts as if she had been repeating it. I snap my head up to look at her. She looks sad and gloomy. "What did you do to Peeta?" She asks, narrowing her eyes to slits. She crosses her arms and taps her foot.

"Did he tell you something?" I ask sitting up.

"He didn't say anything. I could just tell. He's leaving." She says sitting down on the bed. She takes my hand and rubs circles.

"Leaving?" I croak. I don't want him to leave. Where would he go anyway?

"He's going to two. He says he hates feeling cooped up in here, underground, he says it hurts his memories. Katniss, there's a meeting Coin's holding." I shake my head, wondering about what she meant by hurting Peeta's memories.

"It's about Peeta. They didn't tell you something, but they're going to now." Prim says softly. I nod and walk out of the room. I head to the conference room only to run into Gale on the way there.

"Katniss," He greets. I force a smile on my face.

"Gale, I'm sorry I've been kind of brushing you off." I say it softly looking towards the ground. Gale drifts closer to me, making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Katniss," Gale almost purrs. He plays with a strand of my lose hair. "I love you too." He says loud enough for people around us to hear. He knows I'm with Peeta- er I'm not sure. I know for a fact I said the wrong thing. I should have told him I loved him, but I didn't. I should've said I needed him, but I didn't. I should have held him, kissed him loved him, but I didn't. And Gale knows it too! He knows Peeta and I were just sort of there. I hurt Peeta; he was just making sure of everything. He was just figuring it all out. He has every right to. I had played pretend with his heart before, he doesn't know if this is real or not real.

It breaks me. Because…I _do_ love him.

I'm shoved against the wall, two lips meeting mine. Cold and hard. Not how lips should taste. These lips aren't warm and soft, like Peeta's. These are Gale's lips. And they're kissing mine right now. I am so utterly upset. I push him hard, to no avail. Finally he pulls away. Grinning like an idiot. A body pushes past us.

Gale grabs the person's shoulder, pulling him back. I can see the person's face now. It's Peeta, who is expressionless. No, I can see pain, anguish, and betrayal in his eyes. Gale smirks and releases his shoulder. I push away from Gale, sprinting after Peeta.

"Peeta!" I screech. "Peeta Mellark!" I scream and yell. I catch up to him eventually, his prostatic hindering him. I grab his arms and whip him around. "Damn you Peeta! Why do you do this to me?" I yell at him.

"I'm sorry, I was unaware this was my fault." Peeta deadpans. He walks away. I grab him again.

"You make me feel so many different emotions! I'm not sure anymore! I'm so scared that I might…" I fade. I love him. But my pride prevents me from saying it.

"What? Actually love me? Absurd! How could anyone love me when Gale Hawthorn's around!" Peeta screams at me. He glares me down. "I don't like playing pretend!" He storms off. I let him.

I slump into a chair in the conference room. Unaware it was right next to Peeta. He looks anywhere but at me. "I'm going to cut right to the chase." Coin says, skipping the polite intro. "Miss. Everdeen, there's something you have been made unaware of. When Mr. Mellark was in the capitol they tried to twist memories of you. Make him want to kill you. But they didn't get far enough. They only stole bits of his memories and emotions. Some things he just doesn't remember. It makes him more tired, stressful, he's unsure of exactly what happened. Beetee calls it pre-hijacking."

I glance at Peeta, whose head is buried in his hands. "Mr. Mellark," Peeta's head snaps up to look at coin, his hand dangles next to him helplessly. Beckoning me to hold it.

"You will be going to district two correct?" Peeta nods. Coin presses forward. "Miss. Everdeen you will join him. Along with Mr. Hawthorn." Peeta's jaw sets, his fists clench, still dangling. I can't help myself; I reach towards his hands and uncurl the fist. I lace my fingers through his. He looks up at me; I give him a pleading face. I'm not ready to let go. Then again no one ever is.

I zone back in to hear Coin say. "Meet at the hovercraft bay at eleven tonight. Dismissed." I still clutch Peeta's hand. He tries to pull away, but I won't let him.

I drag him to my room, where I know will be empty. I sit down on the floor leaning against the bed. He sits next to me. We don't say anything. Peeta of course speaks up first.

"Katniss if you don't love me it's okay." He says it softly turning to me. I turn to look back at him. I find pain in his eyes. "I just want you to be happy, and if Gale makes you happy, so be it. I just don't want to play pretend anymore. If you want to just be friends so be it." He says calmly and evenly. I feel tears leak out of my eyes. Peeta's face softens. I hug him around his neck breathing him in.

"What if Gale doesn't make me happy?" I whisper to him. I kiss him softly, afraid of something. He kisses back, unsure exactly of my actions. I'm curious of what he remembers and not. I pull away.

"Tell me you love me." Peeta murmurs. I can't, I think helplessly. "Is this pretend Katniss?" He kisses my neck. "I love you." Peeta says. Kissing anywhere he can. A knock on the door pushes us apart.

"Miss. Everdeen, come we need you." A small woman from district five tells me. "We've got to get you ready for filming!" Filming? I guess both Peeta and I looked confused. "The filming for today wasn't satisfactory. So they've decided to film you in action. After two, you will travel to district eight, to visit some hospital. Come along now." She drags me up before I can say anything to Peeta.

0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0

I'm all geared up in my Mockingjay suit, equipped with my bow, ready to fight. I sit in the hovercraft, waiting. Gale steps on to the hovercraft first. I moan inwardly. He takes a seat next to me. "Katniss," He says curtly. I don't say a word back to him. I'm upset by his actions from earlier today. He has no right to kiss me, that right is Peeta's.

More soldiers step onto the craft, anxious and excited. Peeta and Finnick come last. They both acknowledge me. Searching for a seat. They sit directly across from us. Gale glares them down.

Peeta smiles half-heartedly my way. I give him a look. I sit down next to him. "Peeta," I say softly. He turns towards me. "I'm sorry." I feel tears prickle my eyes, but I refuse to cry.

"Katniss," Peeta tries but he doesn't know what to say. Instead he kisses me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

We stand in district two. It's crazy. I can't make out much of anything. Colors blur, sound meshes together, people and faces are useless. Finnick finds me first. He takes my hand and pulls me. We're trying to take the nut of two. I'm shoved into the door of a safe house. The capitol has gotten news we were coming so they've sent their own line of defense. Peeta and the rest of the squad are there waiting for instructions.

I'm sent to sector five to try and avert the peacekeepers. Peeta's with me. So is Gale.

We walk quietly down the barren streets. Slipping through alleyways; creeping through empty homes. We emerge a group of peacekeepers, we fire, but so do they. We slip into the homes under the cloud of gunpowder. We run to where the people are, find new recruits. Peeta was instructed to do the talking. My voice.

"It's the Mockingjay!" Someone screams. A man with a gun steps up, we don't notice the gun yet of course.

"People of two!" Peeta shouts. "Join the rebels or die under the capitol's control!" A few step forward. "We offer you food, living quarters, and safety for you and your family!" The man comes closer. He reaches into his coat. He pulls the gun out. Not a soul noticing all captivated on Peeta, who is speaking.

"Die rebel!" The man screams "Long live the capitol." The gunfire echoes throughout the area. Peeta falls to the ground. I don't hesitate to notch the arrow and shot the man. He falls to the ground, clutching his now shot neck. II run to Peeta's side, the rest of the rebels covering us.

"Peeta!" I scream shaking his shoulders. I check his pulse, still beating. I search for the bullet wound. I find it quickly, blood seeps from it. Peeta's face slowly pales. I cradle Peeta's head in my lap. "Peeta stay with me! I love you! Just be strong and hold on okay! I love you so much!" I tell him kissing him softly. He fades in and out of consciousness.

"Finnick, Gale someone help him!" I screech. Finnick nods and speaks into his communicuff. Two men grab Peeta and take him to a nearby home. I screech at them telling them to let him go. I go into attack mode. Finnick grabs me and holds me up while I kick and punch.

We are loaded into a hovercraft, I search for Peeta screaming. I'm shown into a room. Peeta's conscious but barely. "Peeta!" I screech. I run to him, careful not to hit anything. I hold his hand. He starts to fade.

"Peeta!" I scream as I'm drug out of the room, a shot is injected into my arm. The world goes.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

I'm woken up as we land in district thirteen. I'm set in a wheelchair and taken to my room by Finnick. He waits with me in my room, making me tea and just sitting. My mother comes home frantic. She relaxes when she sees me though.

"Oh, Katniss you're safe thank goodness. All of us nurses were sent away. Something about some mission for propos gone wrong. Someone got shot and is in critical condition." I break down. Sobbing into my hands.

"Mother that person was Peeta! He got shot and it's my entire fault!" I scream through the tears. I'm terrified he won't make it. Realization dawns on my mother. She hugs me as I cry. Finnick leaves quietly telling my mother to tell Prim he said hello.

Haymitch finds me later. He tells me I can see Peeta now. I jump up from my bed, still in a nightgown. Haymitch smiles. "You love him, you know that right?" I nod clutching myself tighter.

I want to run to the hospital. But I don't. I'm escorted to Peeta's room. He's lying down on a bed knocked out, his torso wrapped up. I rush to the bedside. I need him to wake up for me.

"Peeta, please never leave me." I hold his hand and wait.

OoOoOoOoOooOoOOoOoO

"Miss. Everdeen, Miss. Everdeen" A doctor shakes me awake. He offers me a blanket and food. I gladly accept both. It's been about three days since district two. We're waiting for Peeta to feel better, or wake up, or be alive I'm still not sure, waiting is the worst part. Finnick comes later.

"Peeta," I murmur. "Please wake up." I urge him. As if he can hear me.

"Katniss, do you really think he'll wake up to the sound of your voice?" Finnick says sarcastically. I glare him down.

"No, I do not. But I need him to wake up!"

A moan comes from Peeta. His eyes flutter open. "Guess I woke up to her voice huh then Finnick?" Peeta groans. Finnick laughs, getting a nurse.

"Peeta," I say relief oozing out of every pore in my body. I smile weakly. "Ugh, why do you do this Peeta? First you get captured now this! I get no break!" Peeta tries to laugh dryly at the, but it hurts too badly.

"I heard what you said." Peeta says softly. He looks at my hand, which he is holding. "I love you too." Oh that. He looks up to me, the corners of his mouth upturned. He smiles fully when I blush.

"It's not pretend anymore Peeta." I murmur against his lips. He meets mine. Trying to kiss a wounded man is not fun; for either of you.

"I love you, Peeta Mellark." I say again, because he deserves to hear it.

"I love you too."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Peeta and I spend every waking minute together. I hold his hand as he tries to walk down the hallway. We kiss goodnight, hell we kiss _a lot. _We keep the nightmares away from each other, or we try. One night it's particularly bad.

I dream of running, I'm not sure what exactly I'm running from but I don't stop. I run. I come to a clearing where I find Gale.

"Gale?" I ask. He smiles evilly at me. Someone is behind him. It's Peeta. He's bound and gagged. Gale hold a knife to Peeta's throat. I watch as Gale stabs Peeta repeatedly. I scream and try and move but nothing happens. I'm paralyzed. The scene shifts. I'm with Peeta now. We're in the capitol. We stumble upon Gale, who is holding my sister. He straps a bomb to her a throws her. I watch as Prim is blown to bits.

My dream self blames Peeta. So I take my knife and run him through. I killed the only person I'm sure I love, besides Prim. I wake up screaming Peeta's name. His arms come around me. The wound is better, he can sleep comfortably now, and kiss.

"Shh. It's okay whatever it was it's either gone or not real. Okay I'm here, I'm here." Peeta murmurs in my ear. His cold feet touching mine.

I sob into his shoulder. "Don't ever die! Okay Peeta?" I whisper in his ear. He chuckles lightly.

"No, promises." He kisses my forehead, then both of my cheeks, my temple, my nose, my no shut eyelids, he brushes his lips on mine. I try and kiss back but his lips are already on my neck, and collarbone. Next they move on to my jaw line, leaving soft fiery kisses.

"Stop it and kiss me!" I moan. He smirks against my neck. Finally, finally, he kisses me. It's soft and chaste, but grows into something passionate. I gasp when I feel Peeta's tongue graze my lip, demanding entrance. I let him in. I grip his neck, I cling to his shirt, my fingers tangle in his blonde hair. Our limbs tangle together. We pull apart panting slightly.

"I love you Peeta." I say, this time it's me kissing his neck. He moans softly.

"No, more pretend."

**Hiya guys! SOOO WATCHA THINK! I don't want to go to school… UGH! But only a little less the a month left though! Soexcited! Annnd I get to go to cosmic jump on Friday! Whoo! me and a TON of friends are having a just cuz party there!**

**Also did you guys know I'm addicted to STARKID! SQUEAL! Who's your favorite? Mine's Joey or Joe or Brian or Dylan or Darren or nick or Matt or JoMo to Lauren…**

**What's your fave starkid play? Mine is avpm (a very potter musical) and starship. **

**Dear Glee fan girls,**

**We had Darren first.**

**Love,**

**Starkid fan girls. **

**AHAHAH REVIEW! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!**


	6. AN

**Okay HI GUYS! Sorry about lack of updates I've been sick with Bronchitis, border line pneumonia, and couldn't touch a thing! I also, if this is a surprise, did not feel like writing at all. I have suffered from loss of inspiration. I need something to get me going on this story! Ugh! **

**I will have a chapter up in a day or two I PROMISE! **

**Cross my heart and hope to die,**

**Stick a needle in my eye.**

**HA! Okay so anyway dreadfully sorry! Again to clear things up I'm not dead :D **

**Have a great day! Until next time! **

**September. **


	7. Stronger United

**HI! What's happening? Okay if you haven't already please go check out my story Moments that would mean the freaking world to me! Okay here's the chapter I promised SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT! **

We were on a hovercraft heading for district eight. I was sitting with Finnick on my left and Peeta on my right. Gale didn't come on this mission thank god. I don't think I could handle him.

I clutch Peeta's hand like a life line. Finnick gives me a smug look when he thinks Peeta's not looking. We arrive in district eight shortly. The first person we're introduced to is a woman named Paylor.

She seems to be trying to figure out how tough I am. She leads us to the hospital for the wounded of eight. I'm met with such a strong stench I nearly gag, but hold it back when I notice Paylor watching me closely. The camera crew calls a meeting.

"Alright all you have to do is smile promise happiness and hope, and we're outta here." They tell us enthusiastically.

I take a deep breath and step forward. Finnick and Peeta follow close behind. I walk up to a bed with a girl about 15 lying in a bed with a cast on her right arm and left leg. Her body purple and blue with bruises. She's not looking at me, but when she does… Jeeze.

"Katniss Everdeen?" She squeals. I nod and smile at her.

"Hi," I say brightly sitting on the foot of her bed; I take her non broken hand. "What's your name?"

She looks shocked that I'm speaking to her. She gulps and takes a deep breath. "Lyra." (LEER- UH)

"That's really pretty. I like that a lot. How old are you?" I ask her smiling. I look for Peeta and Finnick, Who are talking to a man in a wheel chair. I motion for them to come over.

"14," Lyra tells me grinning. "My sister is 17, she's over there." Lyra motions to a girl standing up serving food to someone.

"Aria!" Lyra yells. "That's my sister." she explains. A girl with blonde hair, almost white, and green eyes comes over.

"What?" She asks in a soft calming voice. Not noticing me or who I was.

"Meet Katniss Everdeen." Lyra says beaming at me. Aria takes one look at me then throws her arms around my neck, giving me a hug.

"Thank you." She whispers into my hair. "Me and my sister over here were in the orphanage. We wouldn't have survived much longer. Thank you." She pulls away smiling.

I glance over at Peeta again, who is finishing up his conversation. He walks over.

He sits on the other side of the bed. Lyra whips her head over in his direction. She holds her hands to her mouth, blushing and grinning.

"Peeta Mellark!" She screams. Aria looks up from talking to the person next to her sister. She gasps and blushes.

"Hey," Peeta says grinning, being his charming self. "How are you?" He shakes her hand, causing her to blush more. Laughing he has a long conversation with her and her sister. I get up and move around the hospital.

These people just want to be touched and reassured. Hands reach out asking for hope. Crying out for it. I whisper words of reassurance to many.

Peeta I notice is walking around too, holding hands, hugging, or just talking. He made about twenty teenagers day by making them feel important. Same with Finnick. About two hours later we are told to start heading out.

I make my way over to Lyra's bed. I sit down, taking her hand again. "I enjoyed talking to you. Stay strong everything's going to be okay. I promise." I look behind me to see Peeta. He's not smiling. We both know the how false it's going to be okay can be.

He sits down next to Lyra. He kisses her cheek, causing her to turn _really _red. Finnick makes his way over here as well.

"Finnick ODAIR!" she screeches. Her sister comes over seconds later. Finnick smiles and gives her a hug.

He glances up at Aria and goes to talk to her. "You're very pretty." He says smiling. Just wanting to make her day. It worked. She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him.

"Alright guys time to go." Haymitch says from behind us. We tell them all good bye and head out. "More troops were sent over. They want to film some action propos." I moan.

The first person I notice is Gale. Crap. He glares at mine and Peeta's intertwined hands.

The film crew comes over to us grinning. "That was great guys! We got tons of footage. Now we just want to get some action shoots. Taking down some pods maybe a fake something or another. We start in an hour."

"What do we do now?" Finnick asks, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Dunno," Peeta responds.

"We could go back in to hospital?" I suggest.

"I don't think we can." Finnick says.

"Yes, we can! Of course we can why wouldn't we?" I say.

"I think they want us in a general location." Finnick argues back.

"Jesus Christ." Peeta mutters. "Come on Katniss." He grabs my hand, and leads me to the hovercraft. I stick my tongue out at Finnick, who follows. He makes a face back. Child.

Peeta walks up to Haymitch. "Haymitch, what in the hell are we supposed to do?"

Haymitch looks at him for a long while until finally he speaks. "Go take your Mockingjay to target practice." He waves us away and walks off. I sigh and grab my bow and arrows.

We find a spot a good distance from the hovercraft. Gale _and_ the camera crew follow us. Cressida whispers something in Peeta's ear as I shoot.

He nods. "Katniss!" He yells. I come over, setting my bow down. "Cressida wants to do interviews. Just You, me, and Finnick." I nod.

Cressida motions away from the target practice, where quite a few people are practicing.

"Just stand here you three." Cressida tells me smiling. I stand in the middle of Finnick and Peeta, I clutch Peeta's hand. She points at the camera guy to start filming.

"Katniss, what exactly are you feeling right now?" Cressida asks staying out of the shot.

"I feel as though I need to help these people in eight. The hospital was so crowded there were people on the ground. I met one girl in particular; Lyra, her arm and leg were broken. She had bruises all over her body, yet she continued to be strong. That's how we all need to be. Strong. We need to be united! So help us! Help us bring down the capitol!"

I notice Finnick grinning like an idiot.

"Peeta, do tell me how was the capitol torture?" Cressida asks.

Peeta gives her an, are you kidding me look. "It was just dandy." He says with a fake smile.

Cressida, I suppose, realizes her blunder. "Oh, forgive me, I didn't mean it like that. What exactly did you go through?"

"Oh, well water torture, beatings, no food or water for days, not allowed to sleep, whippings, you know during the quarter quell they had jabber jays play voices of our loved one in pain? Well they did that to me. They lied telling me they had Katniss and killed her. Electroshocks were the worst." He says looking at the ground. I squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring smile.

"Finnick, I found out you and fellow victor Annie Cresta are getting married is this true?"

"Yep," He says plainly, he looks at Cressida ready for the next question. I nudge him in the ribs.

"Oh, you want me to elaborate?" He asks looking at me.

"Yes, Finney please elaborate." Peeta says mockingly.

"Shut it lover boy." Finnick says grinning."Well, yeah we're getting married. I love her, she loves me. That's how it works right?"

He smiles at me. "Good enough right?" I give him a look.

"Fine, I couldn't imagine life without her, so that's why I'm here fighting. Not just for her, but for our children, and our children's children. I'm fighting so future generation don't have to put up with this. I'm fighting so Panem can be free." He says. I nod at him.

"I have a question that all of Panem is wondering, are you and Peeta together for real this time Katniss?"

I exchange glances with Peeta, who bites his lip.

"Well, it's always been real for him. It's just me that had to wake up. So yes we're together." Peeta holds up our hands and kisses the back of mine, playing the camera just right.

"I knew all along." Finnick states. "It just took stupid over here forever to." He says nudging me.

"So why are you guys here?"

Peeta speaks first. "We're here to spread hope. We're here to help people in the hospital. People who have given up or lost hope. We're here to give it back to them."

I go next. "What Peeta said, we're here to support others, we're here to give hope, we're here to just be there for you."

Finnick glares at us. "You guys took everything I was going to say." He crosses his arms like a five year old.

"You're not funny Finney." Peeta says.

"Fine! We're here to hold people's hands through hard times. Here to talk to those who have no one to listen. We're here to help them all. That and film propos."

"Thank you all for your time. Cut!"

She walks off. "Finnick I want you to know you're not funny." I tell him while playing with Peeta's fingers.

"I try." He says. He struts off to go talk to someone.

Peeta leans against a brick wall, running his hands through his hair. I stand in front of him. He's covering his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"What's wrong?" I whisper. Taking his hands in mine.

He looks down at our hands. "Headache." He says after a while.

"Oh," I let go of his hands and just stand there awkwardly. I look at the ground. I look up to find Peeta looking at me, with that look again. The half smile, look of amazement.

"What?" I ask him, crossing my arms.

"Oh nothing." Peeta shakes his head. "Come on let's go back before they start looking for us."

I nod taking his hand. We walk back slowly. When suddenly shrill sirens fill the air.

A frantic official screams something about capital bombers.

Suddenly they come into view. Yes those are defiantly bombers.

They come closer. The official pulling Peeta and I to safety.

I watch as they drop a bomb. Right on the hospital, I scream.

**Alright. I might update again tonight. I just dunno. Need inspiration…. **


	8. You're a Good Man

**I am so emotionally drained right now. I'm sorry if this sucks. But I had to write, I don't know where else to turn. My boyfriend cheated on me told me he didn't need me, I feel worthless, My grandma died, my older sister drove off we don't know where she is. I am so lost. **

I watch as the hospital burns in a fiery inferno. My first thought is, I need to go help the survivors. So I run.

"Katniss!" I hear Peeta scream after me. "No, let me go I have to!" Peeta starts to fade I hear bombs exploding around me. It dawns upon me I might want to take cover. So I slide into an abandoned home. Waiting.

The thing in my ear goes crazy. Screams of my name are heard. Orders too.

I check the sky every few minutes or so. The bombers left. I make my way to the hospital. All I find is a giant crater. My eyes widen. I rummage the rubble. I find bodies, but no survivors. I try my hardest not to break down at all. I sprint back to where our hovercrafts are.

The first person I notice absent is "Peeta!" I scream "Where's Peeta?" Haymitch comes over to me.

"Probably taking cover still. Waiting on orders, like he should." I hear more screams, I look to the sky. In the distance I see them approaching again, quickly.

Everyone screams for me to take cover, but I just load my bow, ready to fire. Gale sets up next to me. "Let's take down these bastards, eh Catnip?" He grins at me. I can't help but grin back. We shoot the hovercraft with the exploding arrows as they fly by. One of the bombers comes plummeting to the ground some fifty yards from us. We take down two more, shooting arrow after arrow.

Soon my quiver runs empty, but low and behold someone comes sprinting up with another on. I keep shooting. The attack soon stops. I'm still in position to shoot when someone speaks.

"They're gone." I relax, and return the arrow I didn't use back in my quiver. "Did you get it?" Someone else asks.

"Yes! I got her running to the hospital and shooting, with Mr. Hawthorn here." They say excitedly.

"Where's Peeta?" I ask urgently. They, in return give me blank looks.

"Not here." Gale says quietly. I shoot him a look; he in return gives me an apologetic one.

I release I breath I didn't know I was holding. "How about we go and film at the hospital? See if we can find Mr. Mellark along the way." Someone speaks up. We walk down there in utter silence. We just take in the destruction of it all.

Suddenly someone speaks. "This is district eight, or what's left of it. Capital bombers came and destroyed a refugee hospital. Along with most of the district. Our Mockingjay raced to at least find a survivor." We approach the crater.

"Obviously in vain."

"Katniss, what were you thinking when you ran?" Cressida asks me, as I stand in front of the crater.

"That I needed to at least attempt to help these people." I state simply.

"And you shot down those capitol bombers, what was going through your mind then? "

"Honestly? That I needed them gone. If they left it would be okay. I just shot to bring them down. Exploding arrows are very helpful."

"Now Katniss, how are you feeling now? Knowing none of them made it out alive." This question makes me furious. At the capitol.

"It makes me sick and upset that I couldn't help them. There were good honest people that didn't deserve to die. And I think it was so awful."

Cressida nods. Then motions for Gale to stand next to me. "Mr. Hawthorn, you of course were helping Miss. Everdeen take down the bombers, what was going through your mind?" I don't listen to his answer I'm too preoccupied craning my neck to see if Peeta has come back. Haymitch walks out of an alleyway across the street, looking rather annoyed.

A district thirteen official follows him. Then a flash of blonde, and emerges a very cross Peeta.

I don't even wait for the interview to end. "Peeta!" I exclaim.

"Sorry?" Cressida asks, but I'm already sprinting to him. Peeta notices me and catches me just in time. I latch my arms around his neck, while he spins me around. We kiss. When we pull apart I grin.

"I was so worried!" I exclaimed.

Peeta gives me an incredulous look. "You worried? What about me? I was stuck with that damn thirteen official, who wouldn't let me leave the damn safe house. And you! You just sprinted off… damn it Katniss." He kisses me again for good measure. I turn back to Cressida, to find the camera turned on us.

Peeta waves, grinning.

I looked up at Gale to find him looking sad. Like he lost something. I try not to think about it. **(Okay you know the fan art with Katniss and Peeta hugging and Gale looking at them looking back at them all sad? Imagine that.)**

"Okay Katniss, that was so great! To run to Peeta like that! I can see it now! 'Love in time of loss!" A member of the film crew says. I cringe, but don't say anything. I notice Peeta holding back laughter.

OooooOOOOOooooooO

"When?" I ask over dinner, dropping gray turnips onto my plate again. Finnick makes a face, but smiles, letting me know he was kidding.

"We want it within the week." Finnick says bursting with excitement. He holds Annie's hand tightly as she gushes about the wedding.

Finnick looks at her like she is the only thing that matters. It's so full of love and adoration. I want to just melt. I glance over at Peeta who is listening intently, or pretending to. He plays with his turnip mush, not eating any of it.

I slide slightly closer so our shoulders are touching. He looks at me and smiles. I grip his free hand under the table.

Prim bounces in minutes later. She sits down next to Finnick. He beams and gives her a one armed hug, he always did like Prim. "Hi guys!" She says smiling. She eats her food quickly, explaining that she needed to help mother. She was off in a flash.

OoooOoooOoooO The rest of this is pretty much fluff. Skip if you want to….

"So how was your day?" Peeta asks me the next night. I sit down on his bed.

"Exhausting. Training was awful." I tell him, rubbing my neck.

"Oh I'm sorry. That sucks for you." He doesn't have to do training yet, his body isn't ready yet.

"Yeah it kinda does, doesn't it?" I say grinning.

Peeta pokes my nose with his index finger. "Yep." I grin at him, wrinkling my nose.

He pulls me into his lap, I nuzzle his neck. "How was your day?" I ask him.

"Boring. Jesus it was boring."

"Lucky." Peeta laughs, kissing the top of my head.

I yawn, rubbing my face. "You tired?" Peeta murmurs. I nod against his neck.

"But I don't want to sleep, not yet." I tell him, kissing his nose.

He blinks twice. "Okay, so whatcha wanna talk about?" He asks me.

"I don't know." We fall into silence. Enjoying it. When Finnick comes in, looking freaked out.

"Annie'!" He says a million miles an hour.

"What? Something about a nightmare." Peeta says rubbing his eyes.

Finnick nods, breathing heavily. He sits down on the floor, running his hands through his hair. Peeta lets me go, we slide down to sit next to him.

"What was it about?" I ask softly.

Finnick gulps. "I don't want to talk about it. Not at all."

Peeta and I nod understanding. "What can we do to help?" Peeta asks him. Finnick takes his face out of his hands.

"Tell me I'm a good man." He says desperate.

"You're a good man Finnick. The best and the bravest man I have ever known." Peeta tells him honestly.

"But it's not true!" Finnick shouts. "I was the capitol play boy! The one who just loved up on everyone! I hate how I was! I hate it! I hate how I couldn't love Annie! How she's afraid I'll leave her again! Because that's what I do. I leave her." Finnick hangs his head in despair and shame.

We don't know what to say to that. Peeta's eyes widen as he looks at me. I take it as my queue to say something. "Finnick you were forced to be that way. I know you wouldn't be if you had a choice. You're a good man you really are."Finnick looks at me and envelops me in a hug.

I feel one arm leave my waist and from what happened next, he reached out to grab Peeta's shirt collar. I feel Peeta's warm arms wrap around me. We're in the middle of Peeta's room, on our knees, having a group hug. Nothing weird about that.

**Sorry for the shortness and suckyness. Please just no hate. I don't think I could handle it.**


	9. Home

**You guys are the most amazing things ever! Really! So damn supportive… I almost started crying. But I was really unstable… All is well now! Things are getting better. Also at the end of my last chapter when Finnick comes in. he says "Annie.!" They cut off most of what I wrote… "Annie''!" did any of that show up?**

"Morning." I said, kissing Peeta on the cheek. He grins sleepily. It's Sunday, and training was postponed until Finnick and Annie's wedding was over. I had just come back from my room. He lets me in, and I take in his bed head and him still in pajamas. I conclude he just woke up. I ruffle his hair, while he laughs.

"Back so soon?" He asks giving me a half smile. Okay I slept here last night. Actually I do most nights. I go back to my room to change and whatnot. I sit down on Peeta's bed, he sits next to me.

"We're going back to twelve today." I tell him after a few moments of silence. He nods a few times, and as if realizing I want him to respond he speaks.

"Why are they doing that?" His blue eyes lock on mine.

"Haymitch told me to film more propos." Peeta moans face planting on the mattress. "And to get clothing for Finnick and Annie." He sits up finally.

"Do I have to go?" I nod. He moans again. "It's not that b…." I trail off, realizing I didn't need to lie. Peeta saw right through me anyway. Looking at me with his electrifying blue eyes, I swear he saw right into my soul. It's like he could read my mind. If only it was that easy. Think about how easy my life would've been if he could read my mind! I almost laugh out loud at the thought of that.

I take Peeta's hand, wanting to feel his warmth. He smiles at me and intertwines our fingers. I lean my head on his shoulder, while I play with his fingers.

Finnick comes in about twenty minutes later. "Hey um Coin…" he trails off looking at us. "I wasn't interrupting anything right?" He raises an eyebrow at us.

"Not particularly." Peeta tells him. "You need what exactly?" Finnick runs his fingers through his hair.

"Meeting about going to twelve in about ten minutes… Coin told me to get you."

"Oh, are you going to twelve?" I ask him hopefully, Finnick is defiantly considered a close friend now.

"No way are you kidding?" He laughs. "I was just walking by the conference room when Coin told me to get you. Ha, you suckers. I hate propos." He laughs at us again.

But before walking out he adds. "Besides I didn't live in twelve, oh I'd hurry if I were you. Coin seemed pissed." He smiles at us and struts out. Peeta shakes his head and moves to get dressed. While he does that I re-braid my hair and make sure my Mockingjay pin is securely fastened.

Peeta wraps his arms around my waist when I'm staring at a painting of his. I lean into him involuntarily. He rests his chin on my shoulder.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He murmurs. I smile at his…. Wonderful-ness.

"Thank you. You're just all around amazing, you know that?" I tell him smiling.

"I wish." I feel him kiss my neck. "We should really go now." His arms release from my waist. We leave Peeta's room.

We make our way to the conference room. Five minutes late. "Glad you could make it." Coin says sharply.

"It's a pleasure to be here." Peeta says under his breath.

We take our seats and wait for her to begin. "As some of you have heard I am sending a select few to go to district twelve. The following go are: Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, Gale Hawthorn…" She rattles off a few extra names, film crew and such when a familiar name comes up. "And Finnick Odair."

I turn to look at Finnick; I stick my tongue out at him. "What?" He protests. "I thought I wasn't going! I didn't even live in twelve I mean what's the p-"Coin cuts him off.

"Soldier Odair you are going and that's final." She says sharply. "Johanna Mason will also join you. Meet at the hovercraft two hours after lunch. Dismissed. Except for Mr. Mellark and Miss. Everdeen." We stay in our seats waiting.

"You two, you will be handed over to someone. Someone you know very well. Boggs, lead them to the room." He nods and stands. We make our way down long hallways door after door.

Boggs opens one abruptly. Sitting there is my… Prep team.

"Ow!" I say as they pluck me, again.

"Sorry dear," They aren't very talkative. They seem withdrawn and reserved. Octavia has a distant look in her eyes.

"What happened?" I asked lowly.

"We were punished for taking extra food."

I'm astonished. "Is that all?" They nod and continue with their work. I don't say anything for the remainder of the time. I'm given lunch and then released instructed to return within the hour. I find Peeta in the cafeteria.

He's rubbing his neck and scowling. I sit across from him. "Were you pluck and polished too." He makes a face at the food. Then looks up at me.

"Yeah, it sucked. Why aren't you getting food?" He asked me.

"I already ate. I just finished with the makeover." He scrunches his nose and laughs.

"Really? I was done forty minutes ago." I scowl at him.

"Shut up."

I return to the room my Prep team was in. "here dear." Octavia tells me handing me my Mockingjay suit.

I smile and slip into it. They tell me to sit down again. They slide boots on my feet and tie them. Then they move onto my hair, which of course was in a braid.

I smile and stand. They each give me a hug. "It was an honor to make you beautiful." One of them says.

"You were already beautiful, we just made you shine." They hug me again. Octavia holds me by my shoulders.

"You are an amazing inspiring woman. Don't change a thing." She smiled at me, the smile not reaching her eyes. She fastened my Mockingjay pin onto my suit.

"Go to the weapons department Beetee has something for you." I smile and bid them farewell.

I make my way to the weapons room. I find Finnick and Peeta standing outside the door. Finnick laughs at something then notices me.

"Well don't you look spiffy." He says giving me a one armed hug.

"I try." He smirks at me and removes his arm. I look at Peeta, his hair is styled, and I can tell he's dying to run his fingers through it. He looks like he did before the hunger games started. Just, this time, we're ready to fight.

"We have to wait for Beetee for something…." Peeta says trailing off.

"Hey brainless." A snarky voice says behind me. I turn around to find Johanna. She smirks at me. "Missed me didn't you?"

"You bet Johanna." She smirked at me again.

Glancing at me and Peeta she asked a question that was… expected. "So you guys are er…. Together right?" I gave a half smile.

"I suppose." I said biting my lip.

"I guess…" Peeta says at the same time.

"You suppose!" Finnick yells. He throws his hands in the air out of frustration. "You guess? Blimey! You bloody idiots! You are mad in love, you kiss any chance you get, and you're always touching each other! Yes, you are bloody together! Now say it right now!" He screamed. Peeta blink twice.

"Okay Johanna!" Peeta said with a fake smile. "We're together." As if to prove his point, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead.

"Cute," Johanna said flatly.

Peeta turned to Finnick. "Happy?" Finnick smirked back at him.

"Very." We continued to talk for about twenty minutes until Beetee opened the door.

"Alright I'm done come in." We walked through the door. A laser scanned our eye for recognition and we proceeded to the weapon room."

"First Katniss," Beetee said lightly. He handed me a solid black stick? "Wake up!" He said loudly. I give him a confused look, until the bow springs to life almost. It turns into a real bow adding another six inches from the stick.

"Goodnight." Beetee says. The bow returns to its long stick. He hands me a quiver divided into three sections. "Exploding, fire, and normal. You can stick your bow in here." I nod understanding.

"Finnick," Beetee gives him a trident that is about the height of a yard stick. Finnick says wake up and it springs to life too.

"Bloody brilliant." Finnick murmurs under his breath. I watch as Beetee hands Peeta a sword which does the same thing. And a few throwing knives.

"Johanna." Beetee says grinning. He hands her an axe. Beetee looks at the clock "Oh, you guys need to move out in less than fifteen minutes. Go!" We sprint down the hallway, admiring our new weapons.

We arrive on time, and with a stern look from Boggs we take our seats. I sit next to Peeta and an open seat. "Well that was fun!" Johanna says brightly.

"Very." Finnick breathes out, admiring his new toy.

We haven't taken off yet so we're just sitting there. We wait as the rest of the crew piles in. Gale sits next to me. I glance at Peeta, who is too busy talking with Finnick to notice. I glance at Gale who is looking at me with an expression I can't read.

"What?" I cry, turning towards him completely. He shakes his head and smiles.

"Nothing, I'm just trying to understand." He says, smiling sadly.

"Understand what?" I asked softly. He shook his head again, pursing his lips. He was debating telling me. "Just tell me Gale."

He grabs both of my hands in his. "Why?" He murmurs, barely audible.

"Why what?" I ask him.

"Why did you choose him?" He asks me, biting his lip.

I moan. "Not this again!" I rip my hands away from his. He looks at me pleadingly.

"I have to know!" He pleads with me. "Please?"

I huff. I also feel a hand slip into mine on the left. It's Peeta. I squeeze his hand. He's to listening in, I think now it's almost involuntary to hold each other's hand. I turn to look at him to find he's still talking to Finnick. I turn my head back to Gale.

"Fine." I glare at him slightly though. "I chose him because I loved him. I chose him because he's my other half. And it wasn't a matter of choosing. I would have chosen him anyway. It's because I really do love him." I give him a look.

"Happy?" I ask him.

He nods his head. "Very." His voice cracks. He doesn't say anything the rest of the flight. When we land I'm the first out of the hovercraft. Dragging Peeta behind me of course.

"Okay we're going to shoot propos first. Got it?" We all nod. "Okay we'll do Katniss and Peeta together. Then some smaller interviews. Okay? Then we'll be out of here."

"Katniss Peeta, follow me." We follow the camera crew. "Now just talk about district twelve, here we'll start at the school." Cressida tells us.

"Annnd action!" We just stand there awkwardly, holding hands, neither of us knowing exactly what it is we're supposed to say.

Cressida rolls her eyes. "What was school like for you two here?" She asks us.

"It was just great. We learned all different types of stuff about coal, some of us we'd never use. We spent most of our time here, good valuable time. And honestly. I don't think it helped any." I say first.

Peeta smile at my answer. With a huff Cressida says. "Alright guys new topic." Let's walk through the Seam first. I tighten my grip on Peeta's hand; he kissed my temple to soothe me.

We made our way to the Seam, holding hands. When we arrived I just stood there. Petrified. "Come on Katniss." Peeta said softly.

'I don't think I can." I whispered. He gave me a sad look.

"I'll be right here okay? I'll be with you the whole time." He tells me, kissing my forehead. I close my eyes in content, but I feel like I'm five years old.

I nod once and continue walking. Peeta leans down and whispers. "You know they've been filming us this whole time."

"Really?" I ask him.

"Yep."

"Okay Katniss show us where your house was."

I lead them to where my house was. "This was the house of the Mockingjay Katniss Everdeen. Now it's rubble."

We talk about my life in the seam. Then we move onto the merchant area. Peeta talks about his life and such. "Okay good job. We want some more romantic stuff maybe." We both make a face.

"Miss Everdeen, why don't you and Mr. Hawthorn go and the wood and show us where you hunt?"

**Sorry for the shortableness! BUT OH MY ROWLING MY SISTER JUST CAME HOME! REVIEW! PLEASE.**


	10. You have me

**I know I know. Sigh. A LOT HAS BEEN GOING ON. Trust me. I had a break down a few times yesterday. I don't understand… I feel so sad. Plus my freaking wifi crashed for almost two weeks…. So CHAPTER! Also reviews I've been getting almost ten every chapter. Thanks you guys! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT TO 100 BY NEXT CHAPTER?**

We trudge through the woods, Gale and I. We arrive at our spot and kind of just look at it. "We're filming guys!" someone whispers. I give Gale a look. I will not be the first to speak.

Gale releases a breath. "This is where we met almost every morning; before we hunted." He sits down, I follow. "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever _in your favor!" Gale says impersonating a capitol person. He reaches forward for a blackberry; he flips it up to me. It's like our hunting trip before the reaping. I catch the blackberry in my mouth and smile.

By the end of the propo we're laughing, joking, and nudging each other like old times. "Cut! Okay guys that was great!" I trudge over to Peeta and wrap my arms around him.

"Hi," I murmur into his shoulder. He rests his head on mine. I feel his warm lips press against the top of my head for a moment.

"How'd it go?" He murmurs.

"Fine. We're up next I believe." He doesn't say anything.

"Peeta," I whisper.

"Hmmm?" He pulls away. I rest my forehead on his. He kisses my nose quickly, and then returns his forehead to rest against mine.

"They're filming us." I watch as his eyes flicker to the cameras. He wrinkles his nose.

"That they are."His arms release themselves from my waist. We don't say anything for a while. "There is no escaping it." Peeta says finally, but more to himself then anyone.

"Okay guys I want to get more romance stuff! Let's pick a spot and a topic!" I moan.

"Sing for me." Peeta says for about the millionth time.

"Why?" I said _again. _

"Because," Peeta starts, boredom in his eyes. "I knew I loved you the moment I heard you sing. I haven't heard you sing since before the games. Please Katniss for me?"

"Fine. Only because it's you." I kiss his cheek like planned.

I start the song.

_Deep in the meadow_

_Under the willow._

_A bed of grass a soft green pillow. _

_Lay down your head _

_And close your sleepy eyes._

_And when again they open the sun will rise._

I move closer to Peeta like planned. I glance at the camera crew. They have their hands folded, almost as if praying. Praying for me to get this right. I release a breath. Peeta, like scripted, takes my hand and presses his lips to it.

_Here it's safe here it's warm_

_Here the daisies will guard you from every harm._

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true._

_Here is the place where I love you._

Suddenly I go blank. I was supposed to do something now. What was it? "Uh…" I stammer out.

"Ugh…" The camera crew moans at the same time. Peeta gives me the same half smile he's done every time I mess this up.

"Cut." Says a very frustrated Cressida. "Katniss you were supposed to keep singing!" She runs her fingers through her hair.

"This obviously isn't working." Says Peeta. "No offence Katniss but… you can't act." I shrug.

"I have an idea." Haymitch speaks up.

"By all means." Cressida says.

"Name a time where Katniss actually moved you. Where you felt like you could do anything. Not where she was pretending to be in love or married or that…" He finishes and silence follows.

"When she covered Rue with flowers." Peeta speaks up finally. I smile at him, lacing my fingers with his.

"The nightlock!"

"When she volunteered for her sister."

"When she broke down after Peeta 'died'"

"Singing Rue to death."

"Nursing Peeta back to health."

"Right exactly. Now what do all these actions have in common?"

More silence. I glance at Peeta. Who looks like realization just hit him across the face. "It was all genuine." He says softly.

Haymitch grins at him. "Knew you would be the one to get it." I hear Haymitch murmur. "Louder!"

"It was all genuine Katniss. No scripts. No lines. Just her."

"Precisely. When are you people going to get it?"

"So what exactly should we do?"

"You have two choices a: continue with this script thing and make it last forever. Or b: you make it spontaneous. Peeta is better under pressure and Katniss…" Haymitch scratches his neck. "She doesn't like to be told what to do." A few people laugh at that, including Peeta.

"Alright. We at least have to have a topic… ideas?"

"Katniss when did you know you loved me?" Peeta asks me. We're sitting on the shore of the lake. My head is leaned against Peeta's shoulder. My hand in his, Peeta's arm slung around me.

I move from our current position so I'm looking at him straight on. I'm still holding his hand.

"Well, when I knew I loved you or when I really loved you?" I ask him.

He raises his eyebrows at me. Grinning he says. "Either or both. Yes, tell me both." He softly kisses my forehead.

"Okay, I gave you my heart when I shouted your name in the first games. I really loved you when you threw the bread to me."

He glances at the crew who are looking confused. He mocks confusion. "Bread?"

"When we were eleven you threw me two loaves of bread, because I was starving. I would've died without you." I move my thumb to his cheek. His hand catches mine and he kisses it.

"You're still thinking about that?" He murmurs.

I move close to him so our noses are touching. "Always." I say against his lips. He closes the very short distance between us. My arms encircle his neck, his at my waist. We forget we're on camera. I need to feel closer to Peeta. It's such a good feeling. We're on our knees right now.

I moan when I feel Peeta's tongue lick my bottom lip. An awkward cough comes from behind us. We pull apart slowly. I lean my head against Peeta's.

"What about when you knew you loved me?" Peeta asks softly. The corners of his mouth turned up.

I sit down. I brush my thumb across his cheek. "Fine if you insist. I knew I loved you the moment you weren't mine." Peeta laughs at that. "I'm serious. I knew I loved you when you weren't there. I missed you so much. I went insane. Did they tell you what happened when the mission failed?" I almost laugh at myself.

"Oh no," Peeta says, a horrified look on his face. "What did you do?" I bite my lip.

"Katniss, what did you do?" Peeta gives me a panicked look.

"Okay calm down. I… well. My hiding spot was a storage closet, no one came looking for me…So I figured that if you were going to be in pain so was I. So I um… cut myself with a needle." I finish biting my lip.

Peeta looks at me for a while. "You're kidding." I shake my head. "You're not… kidding. Why would you…"He trails off.

"I love you a lot Peeta Mellark." I tell him grabbing his hands.

"I love you more Katniss Everdeen." Peeta tells me, moving closer. Our lips barely brush when someone screams "CUT!" I glance up at the film crew, they all look ecstatic. Finnick and Johanna look amused and Gale looks stony.

It's as if everything breaks and reality comes back to us. We just did that in front of a camera. "That was great guys! You are free to go see whatever… you have less than half an hour." Peeta blinks twice.

X~00000000000000000000000000~X

"Was it all true?" Peeta asks as I get a dress for Annie. I turn to look at him. He's sitting on the edge of my bed, playing with the blanket.

"Yes, every word." I hear him get up, the next thing I know his arms are around my waist. I feel his lips brush against my neck.

"I'm supposed to be getting Annie a dress." I say grinning. He stops and looks at me.

"She can wait." He kisses the sensitive skin under my ear. I close my eyes and moan softly.

He's nibbling my ear when Finnick walks in. "I would say get a room, but that would be wrong considering you got one, huh sweetheart?" Finnick says sarcastically, winking at me.

"Shut up."

**X~00000000000~X Okay since I kinda took forever to update here's basically fluff on a stick. Don't choke. **

I'm sitting down at dinner when I notice Gale Hawthorn. He's glaring at me. It's a cold and hard glare. I also notice his brothers glaring at me. My throat tightens. They were my family and now they… they hate me. I notice Prim sit down and kiss Rory on the cheek. I try and wave her over. She shakes her head. I feel like I've lost all of my family. Unknowingly I tighten my grip on Peeta's hand.

"Katniss are you okay?"Peeta asks me looking concerned. He can tell by the look on my face that something is wrong.

He raises his eyebrows at me. Finnick gives me a look, as does Johanna. I have no idea what to do or say. I suddenly feel so unhinged. I stand without warning, leaving my tray I sprint out of the hospital.

"Katniss!" It's Peeta. I'm fast but Peeta can, and will, catch up with me. "Katniss Everdeen!" He screams. I run to my hiding spot. The one with the bathtub.

I lock the door and break down. My hands are shaking, my whole body is shaking actually. I step into the bath tub and sob. I sob so hard. I don't know why. The thing on my wrist in right. Emotionally unstable. I haven't even cried for a minute. When I hear pounding on the door.

"Katniss, please open the door." It's Peeta.

"Go away!" I shout, sobbing still.

"Kat, please?" He sounds so desperate. "Please." I hear his head hit the door in anguish.

I sigh and get up to open the door. Still crying slightly I let Peeta in. I don't even acknowledge him I just return to my spot in the bath tub. I feel him sit next to me.

"Hey," He whispers, running his hand up and down my arm. "What's wrong love?" I lean into him. The sobbing starts and I cry into his shoulder. He just holds me tightly against his chest. He doesn't say anything. I don't think he knows what to say. I feel him press his lips against my temple.

"Katniss, love what's wrong?" I pull away; he wipes my cheek with his thumb.

"I… I… I saw Gale at dinner today and he was glaring at me… Then I noticed so were his brothers. They've been my family since I was twelve… I never see my sister anymore. You know it was Gale who told me her and Rory were dating! I just don't know." I tell him. I feel like such a child right now. I hide my face in my hands. My cheeks burning with shame.

Peeta nods. "Katniss," He tries in vain to pull my hands away. "Katniss look at me." I finally let him pull my hands away. He kisses the remaining tears that fall.

"I know what it's like to lose family, I lost all of them, but you still have them. You have Prim and your mother. And besides you have me right?" He moves his head towards me, trying to get me to look at him. "Right?" He says smiling.

"Right," I breathe out, I rest my forehead on his. "I'm not much, but you have me too." I look into his azure eyes, in a matter of seconds I'm lost in them. I close my eyes; content.

I feel Peeta nuzzle my neck. "Peeta," I whispered. I feel him draw back. His thumb resting on my cheek.

"Hmm?"

"I love you." He smiles at me.

"I love you too." I close the distance between us. It's more intense then our other kisses. It's passionate yet sweet. Just like Peeta. I tangle my fingers in his hair. His arms are wrapped around my waist. I practically in his lap. I wrap my legs around his waist, desperate to get closer. Everything said and unsaid goes into this kiss.

I hear a moan come from Peeta's throat. I pull away panting. Peeta kisses my neck up and down, leaving sort fiery kisses.

"I'm sorry for overreacting."

"I mean you're under a lot of pressure. Did you see the look on Prim's face when you gave her, her stupid cat back."

"_Shut up." I told Finnick. Peeta smirked and went back to his spot on the bed. _

"_You got your suit Finnick?"_

"_Yep." Finnick told me, gesturing to clothing bag draped over his arm. _

"_Does Annie need shoes?" I asked._

"_Sure, I guess so." Finnick threw his suit on an empty chair and sat down next to Peeta. _

"_After me and Annie when are you gonna tie the knot?" Finnick asked. _

_I heard Peeta laugh dryly. "Ha. You're so funny." Peeta said sarcastically. _

"_Aren't I though?" I rolled my eyes and made my way to the closet. I had found a pair of shoes. I leaned down and heard hissing. I nearly screamed. _

_Moving clothing around I found buttercup. "Stupid cat!" I shouted. _

_I picked him up and put him in a bag. Prim would appreciate a familiar face._

"_Hey Prim," I said knocking on the door._

"_Oh, HI Katniss!" I smiled._

"_I have something for you." I smiled and handed her Buttercup. _

"_Buttercup!" She had exclaimed. "No way! Katniss thank you!"_

"Yeah she was happy." It's my turn to kiss Peeta's neck up and down. I stop and rest my arms around his neck. He buries his face in my hair.

"I love you Katniss Everdeen." He says after I pull away. I'm still in his lap; his arms around my waist.

"I love you too Peeta Mellark." I'm about to kiss him again when the bomb sirens go off.

**Yeahh. Not my best. Sorry. I'm on the road right now. Surprise trip to the Rockies. Riiiight. Gag. Anyway… I had I done Monday so if I can't get it up because of lack of wifi. I apologize. Also coming home followers! I hadn't realized you got over 150 reviews! I'll post the first chapter soon I promise! :D**


	11. Reminiscing

**I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! My wifi crashed, my parents are splitting up, my sister got engaged, my best friend is moving and we're helping them pack. I probably sound like I'm making excuses, but I'm so sorry! Okay I feel really awful for leaving you with a cliff hanger of sorts. And you will hate me even more after this chapter… again I'm SORRY!**

_I'm about to kiss him again, when the bomb sirens go off. _

"Oh no." I whisper. Peeta, looking frantic, pulls me to my feet.

"Come on we gotta go." We sprint out of the closet. I grab his hand and we sprint shouting my little sister's name. We push by masses of people, most of them, like us, screaming for their loved one. The intercom is blaring instructions and telling us to keep calm. It's not working.

"Prim!" I yell again. I know she would be in our room now. Mother would be at the hospital, Prim would be on her own.

"Katniss!" I find her struggling against the frantic crowd. Peeta grabs her hand. We move with the mass crowd, some are calm some not. Most of the district thirteen natives are calm and collected, where as everyone else is panicking. We round a corner and the bomb shelter is in sight, when I hear Prim squeal.

"Prim!" Peeta screams. She had let go of his hand and disappeared into the crowd.

"Peeta! She went back for that damn cat!" I exclaim. "Prim!" I scream. I'm ushered into the bomb shelter by district thirteen officials, the doors are left open though. Tons of scared people rush into the bunker. None of them Prim. We're desperately screaming her name. She isn't there.

"Close all the doors!" Coin says over the intercom. "I repeat all the doors are to be closed." The guards start to shut the doors.

"Wait! Please wait!" I shout. "My little sister. Can you please wait just a minute? What if you had a daughter, or a little sister in this situation what would you be doing?" The guard gives me a sympathetic look.

"Probably what you're doing now. We can keep them open for a minute longer."

"Thank you." I clutch Peeta's hand. _Please please please. _I repeat over and over again. The building starts to quake. I imagine my little sister coming around the corner clutching her cat, her eyes scared. But it doesn't happen.

"I'm sorry Miss. Everdeen." The guard says softly. The doors are shut slowly as if giving my sister a chance to scream "Wait! Wait for me!" The doors slam shut. My breath escapes my throat as if I've been kicked. My little sister. Gone.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm seventeen years old. I'm the Mockingjay, district thirteen was bombed again, my little sister is dead. I should be dead too. I don't deserve to live. _

I sit with my knees tucked into my chest. I haven't talked to anyone in days. My little sister… My mom has sunken into the depression she was in when dad died. She stares blankly ahead. I'm numb. They say they've found her body, she was a minute or two away from safety. They say she was clutching a cat. I didn't want to see the body, i don't think I would've been able to handled that.

I decide I can't become my mother. I decide I have to be strong for Panam. I cry again for Prim, and then I stand. I look around my room. There are four beds, Finnick is laying on one. "Finnick." I say weakly.

"Ah, the Mockingjay found her voice?" I scowl at him, which of course makes him laugh. I look at my mother. She's lying down, with a blank face. "Let's get you some food." Finnick says standing.

We walk to the cafeteria together in silence. We reach the doors when Finnick grabs my arm. "I'm sorry. About your sister." I nod and walk through the double doors. I sit down with my food and don't even register what I'm eating. I feel a body sit next to me. Turning towards it, I find a blonde haired and blue eyed baker.

"Peeta,"

"In the flesh." He says smiling at me lightly. "I'm sorry about Prim." He says after a while. I bite my lip and nod. I feel him grab my hand under the table.

"So what room are you in?" I ask him, trying to make conversation.

"Yours. Finnick, your mother, you of course, and I are all sharing a room. You're mother hasn't said much at all. She barely eaten, she barely sleeps. I'm worried for her."

I nod my head sadly. "She did this when dad died. It will be months before she's useful." I told him bitterly. He nods his head. Finnick sits across from us, followed by Annie. Johanna finds us moments later, and to my surprise Gale does too. We're like a band of misfits. We've seen death, we've suffered loss, and we'll experience more pain.

"Glad to see you're okay Catnip." He tells me smiling.

"You too, your family okay?"

"Yup." He says. I wonder if he knows about Prim... He doesn't seem to act like it.

"Glad to hear it."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Half of the rooms were bombed so they threw a bunch of us in one." Finnick tells me on our way back to our room.

"Okay," I say softly. "How long has it been?" I don't need to go into further explanation, I don't need to elaborate, they know.

Peeta squeezes my hand. Finnick bites his lip. "Two weeks, and it's about time you snapped out of it." A voice says from behind us.

"Johanna," I say smiling.

"Brainless," She responds back.

"Where are you staying?" I asked her.

"With Annie." She tells me. "Right down the hall from you, so if you'll excuse me." She brushes past me, and opens a door across the hall.

"We have a problem -Catnip is it?" Finnick says smirking.

"What's the problem Finnick?"

"The door is locked."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Mother, open the door!" I shouted, banging on our door.

"Watch out." Finnick says. He seemingly braces himself and runs into the door. Somehow after a while he managed to break it down. Peeta and Finnick take my mother to the hospital. I sit on what appears to be my bed. They return moments later.

"So?"

"They're going to keep her at the mental ward." Peeta says tiredly, sitting next to me. I play with his fingers absent mindedly.

"They're sending us on a mission." Finnick says after a while.

"When?"

"After about three weeks of training. After I'm married. We're called the star squad, there's a meeting later."

It's about three am when I wake up with a start. I find Finnick on the floor tying ropes, I slid out of bed next to him. "Couldn't sleep?" I ask him.

"I don't even bother for about two or three days, or until I have to sleep. That way there's no nightmares." He tells me, not even glancing up from the rope. I nod in understanding, and take an extra rope.

About half an hour later Peeta slides on the floor across from us. "Couldn't sleep?" I ask softly.

"Nope." He says groggily, he runs his fingers through his bed head.

"You're one of the lucky ones Peeta." Finnick says.

Peeta shoots him a confused look. "How so?"

"You don't get nightmares." Finnick tells him. I watch as Peeta's face darkens.

"Yes, I do. I don't think there are any 'lucky ones' we never escape the arena." Finnick opens his mouth to say something, but shuts it. I get up and sit next to Peeta. He gives me a small smile, which I return halfheartedly.

"Do you miss your family?" I don't know what brought this question up. I ask it without thinking.

"Yeah, yeah I do." Peeta breathes out. He squeezes his eyes shut, and clenches his fists.

"What's the matter?"

"You know that thing Boggs told you about? Pre Hijacking? Yeah, I don't remember some things, or the memories are twisted. It gives me a headache, but don't worry about me." I kiss him on his temple.

"How can I not worry? I haven't stopped worrying about you since our first Hunger Games started!" Peeta laughs a little at that.

"I miss my family too." I say softly

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Peeta and I make our way to the meeting room. "Starsquad? Honestly who names these things?" Peeta asks me. I laugh at him. I kiss him on the cheek.

We sit down next to Finnick and Gale. The meeting starts moments later.

"As all of you know I have called you here to form the Starsquad. You will start training in a week…." I zone out for the rest of the meeting.

"Thank you dismissed."

"Peeta, what do you miss most about your family?" I ask him lightly.

He shrugs his shoulders. "I miss my dad the most, I miss Rye and Wheaton too. I miss my mother too… just not all that much. She was… a bitch. I loved her, but I won't miss her. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, yeah it does. It's like me with my mother."

"Anyway, I miss my brother Rye messing around with everyone, just being an idiot. I miss Wheaton and his wife, she was pregnant you know… I miss my dad and how he showed me everything I needed to know. I miss how he made me feel loved." Peeta sighs. "What do you miss about your family?"

"I miss laughing. I miss feeling like a complete family. I miss hunting with my dad and coming home and have my mother cook everything. I miss singing together. I miss just… everything." There's a mutual understanding between us. It's as if we're silently promising each other that we'll take care of each other. That we're family now.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Okay, I'M SORRY! *Dodges tomatoes* I'm sorry! It had to happen. I'm also sorry it's short, I'll upload a new chapter in a few days I PROMISE! Okay it's going to pick up and get more action –ney soon. Until next time.**


	12. Wedding

**I'm dreadfully sorry! But I was in Disney world and it was my birthday! And then I BROKE MY ARM. How I managed to type this… I'll never know, I guess it helps I had most of it done. WHO WATCHED GLEE LAST NIGHT? ERMERGERD. I'M FREAKING CRYING AND HYPERVENTALATING. I CAN'T EVEN… UGH! I just want KLAINE TO STAY TOGETHER BUT NEXT WEEK MIGHT END IT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh Big Bang Theory started again tonight too… so after my brief rant…**

"Come on Brainless, the sooner we get this over with, the better." Johanna snaps at me. We were told to help set up for Finnick and Annie's wedding. Which is later today. Right now we're setting up chairs.

Bunches of other woman, whom are making a rather big deal about this, are ordering us about. "Where are the flowers? What about the cake? Has Peeta finished the cake? Lucida, don't touch that!"

Johanna rolls her eyes. "I'll go see if Peeta is done." I volunteer, wanting to just get out of here.

"Alright thank you Katniss," Someone says from the back of the room. I nod, smirk at Johanna, and walk out of the room. I walk to the kitchens first, hoping he's there. Turns out he is. The kitchens are empty except for him. I walk up silently behind him. He's sitting there decorating a five tier cake. It's beautiful. On the bottom he has the ocean and then towards the top he's drawn the sunset. It's gorgeous.

I touch his shoulder softly, making him jump slightly. He turns his head and sees me. He relaxes slightly. "Oh, hi Katniss." He sets down the icing bag.

"It's amazing." I tell him, gesturing towards the cake in front of us.

"Thanks, hopefully I'll be done with it in a bit." He says shrugging.

"Good, all those women in there are going insane." He laughs and continues his job. I sit on a stool next to him and watch. He has complete concentration. We make idle talk. There's really nothing to talk about. He finishes around an hour later. Looking satisfied with his work, he goes to tell them he's finished it.

We find an abandoned room and lay there, holding hands. "When I get married, none of this will ever happen. It will be simple. I'll go to the court house, sign some papers, and just like that I'm married." I say, giving an exasperated sigh.

"When you get married?" Peeta asks me, turning his head. I realize what I've said and look at him. He's grinning from ear to ear. "And who, may I ask, are you planning on getting married too?"

I turn beet red. I try and brush it off. Shrugging I say, "Who knows? Maybe a tall, dark hunter from the seam." I tell him, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

"Ouch," He says, clutching his chest. "That hurts Katniss." He smiles at me, and sighs in contentment. "I'm just glad they get to get married… Finnick was worried they wouldn't have a chance."

"I hope we don't have to dance." I say suddenly, which causes Peeta to laugh.

"We probably will. I mean if we're dancing we must be happy! That means the rebellion is going well…" I laugh at him, because that was Coin's logic. We got up around three and made our way to the decorated cafeteria. Coin directed us to the front seats.

"Don't be afraid to be as affectionate as possible." She says shortly. This is just another propo to her. We nod and she walks briskly off.

"Well, that's nice." Peeta says sarcastically. "We'll definitely have to dance now."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

An old stereo plays the wedding march, and a glowing Annie walks down the aisle. She's wearing the sea-green dress I wore in district four. Her hair falls in waves down her back, she has next to make up, and yet she seems to be glowing. Finnick, as always, doesn't look to bad himself. He's wearing one of Peeta's suits; his hair is well… perfect as always. He's just Finnick.

Annie reaches the end of the aisle, beams at me and Peeta. She takes Finnick's hand and I swear, if either of them died right now, they would die happy. They say short and very sweet vows. Their lips were dabbed with salt water, a net was thrown over them, and then they kissed. District four traditions I suppose. After Finnick and Annie ran down the aisle, tables were set up. The mood shifted. Instead of formal and quiet, it was loud and happy.

The cooks spared some extra food, and a man from district twelve found a fiddle and started playing old folk songs. We taught each other dances and moves. We clapped along with the song and, yes sometimes, we sung along. The man from twelve bowed after a while, receiving a round of applause. Someone actually found an old record of ballroom dancing. Soon that noise filled the room.

I watched silently, standing next to Peeta, as Finnick and Annie got their dance. The song ended and other couples flooded to the dance floor.

"Come on," Peeta said grabbing me hand, grinning from ear to ear.

"No, please no." I groaned, trying to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. It doesn't work, because the next thing I know I'm swaying slowly, my arms around Peeta's neck.

"I hate you, you know that?" I said playfully.

"Hmm, no you don't.' Peeta said, still grinning. 'And admit it, you're enjoying this."

"Damn you.' I murmured because really, I was enjoying this. It was like no one else was there but me and Peeta. "Fine,' I said after he started laughing. "I'm enjoying this." I smiled and kissed his cheek. After our dance, which was videotaped, Peeta rolled out his cake. It seemed more beautiful now out in the open.

Annie and Finnick cut the first slice and fed each other. Johanna, fed up, whined "Just start the cake fight already!" Being Johanna, she was proactive, scooped up cake and dumped it on the nearest by-stander. Which happened to be a very irritated Haymitch. He glared daggers at her a flung a slice of cake back at her.

I can easily say it's the most fun we've had in district thirteen. We ate the remainder of the cake, which wasn't much. We laughed and carried on well past midnight. At around one Finnick carried Annie bridal style to their new room.

We cheered and shout a little while after they left. Smiling I lace my fingers with Peeta's. We're laughing pretty hard, about utterly nothing. "You had fun, just admit it." Peeta says, after pecking me lightly on the nose.

'I did have more fun than I expected." I told him, fiddling with the bottom of my braid.

"Love, what's wrong?" Peeta asked me softly.

"After all of that, I still can't believe she's gone." I told him flatly. It's been two days since I've come out of my depression. I haven't really felt much about anything, I've been numb. I guess the shock and pain is delayed, because right now I can barely function. I grip Peeta, in fear of falling over. I'm gasping and making those awful chocked animal sounds.

Hot tears form and my eyes, and soon stream down my face. Peeta pulls me into him, and I sob into his chest. After about half an hour Peeta carries me into our room and sets me in bed. I sob some more then. After about two hours I'm done crying. I wipe my tears away, and pull the hair sticking to my now wet face, out of my eyes.

"Thanks for everything Peeta," I said softly kissing him on the cheek.

"Always," he whispers.

**I'm sorry it's sort, it's just my arm really hurts and I'm mourning the loss, of what I think to be… the end of klaine. I'm barely functioning…. Alright anyway. I again apologize for the delay, sucky chapter, and shortableness. I think I'm coming down with something too. Ugh. Cough cough sneeze. **


	13. I'd rather have the Games

**Someone take a picture! I'm updating! Seriously though I'm so sorry. Ugh. My Mac book got stolen and I couldn't update from anything else and just ugh. Plus the damn computer didn't save it. I also have been suffering from writers block, major writers block. I just UGH. **

**I DON'T OWN. **

It's been two weeks since Finnick and Annie's wedding. Two weeks of nothing. It's as if the whole war has stopped. We haven't heard from the capitol and the capitol hasn't heard from us. It's as if both sides are waiting for one to make a move. I sit down in the cafeteria, my try full of gray bland food. I stare blankly ahead, playing with the mush. I feel someone sit next to me. I turn slightly to see Peeta.

He smiles at me slightly. I don't return the favor. I don't understand why I'm being so cold to him. I watch as he opens a beige folder. His eyes scan the page up and down. He closes it, when he notices me watching him.

"What's that?" I ask gesturing to the folder.

"Nothing. It's from Coin." He says quickly. I nod and shake my head. I still feel like he's hiding something from me. I know he's hiding something when Finnick sits down across from me. With an identical folder.

"Finnick?" I ask. He looks up from the papers to look at me. He raises his eyebrows, silently telling me to continue. "What's the folder for?"

His sea green eyes widen a bit. He shuts the folder and looks at Peeta, who's biting his lip. "Someone tell me what the hell is that for."

"It's for the Starsquad." Peeta says. Starsquad? What's that! How come I don't know about it! Why wouldn't I be a part of that? A million questions invade my mind, making my brain buzz.

"Starsquad?" Then something dawns on me. "You're going to the capitol… aren't you?" I watch as Finnick and Peeta share looks.

"Yeah," Finnick says nodding. "We are." That's all I need. I push my tray forward and storm out of the cafeteria. I head straight for command.

"I want to go." I demand to Coin when I enter the room. The door swings open and in walks Finnick and Peeta.

"Go where?" Coin asks me, not looking up from the computer monitor.

"The capitol." Coin looks up finally. She narrows her eyes at Finnick and Peeta.

"You told her about this?"

"She saw the folders." Finnick explains, rubbing the back of his neck. Coin looks at them for a little while longer, and then directs her attention back to me.

"No, I don't see it fit." She tells me, looking me up and down.

"I have to go." I say raising my voice slightly.

'Miss. Everdeen." Boggs speaks up, "I hate to rain on your parade, but you're not exactly in your prime right now."

"Finnick is going! Gale and Peeta!" I say on the verge of shouting.

"They've been to every training session, unless otherwise occupied. How many have you been to?"

None. That's how many. I don't say anything though I just glare at Boggs. Finally I speak up.

"I HAVE TO GO." It came out louder than I thought it would. I hear someone behind walk forward. Suddenly a warm hand grabs mine. I glance next to me and see Peeta. He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, he's silently telling me to calm down.

"Why?" Coin asks. She can see how determined I am.

I must be the one to kill snow. "They bombed my district. And they killed my sister. Plus I'm your best shot."

Coin narrows her eyes and considers me for a few minutes. She looks at Boggs, who nods his head. "Fine Miss. Everdeen. You have two weeks. If Boggs sees you fit you can go. Training starts Monday. Tell Miss. Mason she's welcome to join you." She waves us away with her hand and returns her attention to the screen.

I look at Peeta for a few seconds. He grins at me. "You get anything done if you're determined enough." He smiles again at me and walks out of the room. I follow behind him. I take his hand and kiss his cheek. He glances at me surprised.

"Thank you." I tell him, smiling genuinely.

"For what? I didn't do anything." He says smiling at me.

"For being there."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I swing my legs off the side of the bed and groan. This is the earliest I've ever waken in a while. I stand and stretch the sleep out of me. Peeta who is already up and dressed grins at me. I glare daggers at him while I grab my clothing. I change quickly, braid my hair, and walk out of the bathroom.

"Breakfast?" Peeta says holding out his hand. I take it and smile slightly. His lips brush against my temple as we leave the room. During breakfast Johanna surprises us all by showing up. She constantly glances around like she's being watched, but it's a lot of progress that she's here. After breakfast we all walk down to training together. Boggs is standing there with a clip board and a pen.

Peeta and Finnick both sign in and do their warm up laps. "Miss Mason, Miss Everdeen. Follow me." Me and Johanna both exchange looks but don't say anything. Where are we going? What's going on?

We're escorted to a different training group. A bunch of 14 and 15 year olds. At first I'm offended, until I realize they're in better shape than me and Johanna combined. We do tons of drills that are killer. Me and Johanna are barely breathing.

"Alright," The trainer says, gathering us all together. "Good day today. Five mile run and you can call it a day. Go." I moan in distain, and Johanna laughs bitterly.

"I'd rather have the games." I say, frowning as we start. The group starts off together but splits up eventually, I have to pull out after a mile.

"I'm disappointed Miss. Everdeen. I expected more from you."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The next day we report back to training. Half way through warm up it starts to pour down rain. Johanna's eyes widen and she turns a sickly shade of green. She takes a few deep breaths and calms down. Today we're told to dissemble and resemble a gun. By that time Johanna is shaking like a leaf. She passes out ten minutes later. I have to escort her to the hospital when she comes to.

A doctor explains to me that water was one of the many means of torture used in the capitol. They would soak her in water and electrocute her until she talked. Now when she gets wet her body naturally freaks out.

The next week goes by in a blur. The only thing I honestly live for is training. Johanna and I slowly work our way up. The drills become easier for us as do the runs. I've gotten very handy with a gun, and Johanna remembers how good she was with an axe. Three days before the Star Squad is set to leave we're moved up into Bogg's training group.

"Solider Everdeen Solider Mason. You can join the group now." Boggs tell us, a small smile on his face. We walk towards the group, Finnick smirks at us. I scan the group for Peeta and when my eyes meet his he winks at me.

"Today," Boggs says, "You will be doing an obstacle course. This is part of your test to see if you're allowed to go. To pass you must finish in less than ten minutes. If you pass you'll leave in three days time… If not, there are plenty of jobs here in thirteen. Let's get started. Everdeen, you're up." I release a breath and step forward.

Boggs tells me what I'm supposed to do and walks to the starting point with me. "The timer starts when you do." I take in a small breath and scan the obstacle course quickly. Fist is the wall, then the beam, the crawling, then the sprint, and last but not least the rope swing. I jog quickly to the wall, grab the rope and hoist myself up. I swing my legs over the wall and jump down. I then sprint over to the thin beam. There really wasn't a way to hurry across this, otherwise I'd fall. I walked quickly across, nearly falling multiple times.

Next was crawling in the mud under barb wire. I slid under and used my elbows to push myself forward. I stopped to catch my breath, my heart racing. I couldn't give up now. I couldn't. I pulled myself out from under the barb wire and looked ahead. The sprint. I sprinted with everything in me, ignoring the pain in my side. I came to the platform with the rope swing. I took a breath grabbed the rope in my fists and swung across the mud. Landing somewhat on my feet I sprinted to the finish.

I doubled over my hands on my knees. I took a few minutes to catch my breath and then stood. "9:07!" Boggs shouted. I smiled to myself, I had actually done it. I walked over to the rest of the group, smiling. Finnick saw me coming and smirked. "I knew you could do it, Girl on Fire!"

Peeta hugged me quickly. I inhaled, he still smelled the same. Like cinnamon and dill. Boggs went down the list of soldiers quickly, so far only two had failed. "Mellark!"

Peeta exhaled and walked forward. I bit my lips as he walked to the starting point. I watch his face as he analyzed ahead. He nodded to himself once or twice and then sprinted ahead. He climbed over the wall, no problem. The beam was a little trickier, with his leg, but he managed it without falling. Crawling under the barb wire wasn't any harder for him. He slithered out and sprinted. He then came to the rope swing. Smiled a little, despite himself, and swung across the water. He sprinted the rest of the course. "8:37!" Boggs shouted. I smiled proud of him.

I watched as he doubled over his hands on his knees. I couldn't mistake the smile on his face. Finnick went next, he managed eight minutes flat. Johanna was next. I was worried for her, and how she'd react to the mud. She managed the wall fine, the beam she struggled with. You see the beam was suspended over water. You fell, you'd get drenched. She took it very slowly, adding at least four extra minutes.

The next was crawling. She made it half way through before curling into fetal position, clutching her hair. We all watched, holding our breathes, waiting for her to do something. "Solider Everdeen! Go in after her!" Boggs shouted at me. I nodded and ran forward. I ran around the wall and was forced to walk across the beam. I crawled under the barbed wire and put myself next to Johanna.

"Johanna." I said calmly. She looked up at me. "You've got to show them they don't own you. You've got to show them you don't give a damn. You've got to." I watched as she slowly pulled herself out of fetal position. She stared ahead. "You've got to put on a brave face and finish this."

I watched as her eyes narrowed. She gritted her teeth. "I think I'd rather take the hunger games." She told me bitterly, as she slowly crawled forward. We manage to get out from under the wire. She put on a determined face and muttered "They don't own me, they don't own me." Under her breath, over and over.

She grabbed the rope swing after the print and took multiple breaths. She pushed off of the platform and fell straight into the water below. She screamed, flinching, seemingly waiting for the pain.

I stood there not knowing what to do. If I moved forward would she get scared, thinking I was coming to torture her? Or should I go and help her? She stands up on her own. Shivering and shaking she walks to the fish line and collapses.

Boggs shakes his head slightly. Johanna will not be going to the capitol.

**Okay so awkwardly written chapter! I'm an awkward turtle. This chapter just ugh! Just ugh okay? UGH. Reviews would be greatly appreciated ;) **


	14. UM IM SORRY

I just want to make a quick update. I am not dead nor am I quitting writing.  
>I will continue I swear. I've just needed some time to heal.<br>You see my sister and father both passed away in a car accident, and my mother has turned back to alcohol.  
>So I had to move out. Life has been really hectic and I've been without wifi for a few months. I apologize that haven't updated in a really long time. I recently got wifi so a new chapter will be coming to you soon. :) Hopefully within a day or two!<br>Thank you for being so patient and I apologize again!  
>Love always,<br>September


	15. By the Sea

**Wow. This is looooong overdue. But yes! I am back from my year long hiatus…. shorter than fall out boy. ;) **

**I want to apologize again for my lack of updates, you see I suffer from this fabulous thing called depression; and it's just been worse since my sister and brother died. I have missed you guys so much and I am officially back.**

_Johanna will not be going to the capitol. _

It's been two weeks since Johanna failed the test, but it's as if it never happened. She shrugs it off as if she meant to fail. Part of a coping mechanism I suppose.

And during these two weeks training has just gotten harder and harder. I push myself as far as my body will let me, sometimes farther. I know deep down I will never be as in shape as I was before the games, but I keep pushing.

Peeta's prehijacking seems to be getting worse, something he's neglected to tell me.

"I didn't see the point!" he says, hurriedly trying to catch up with me. I'm in no mood to deal with him.

"Katniss," he says exasperated. He grabs my arms and makes me look at him. "I'm fine really. I promise." He tries to assure me by flashing a lopsided grin at me… which works. I sigh and slow my pace so he can keep up.

"I'm just worried about you is all…I do care a lot you know." I mumble, afraid to admit it.

"What? I'm sorry, didn't catch that. Could you say it again?" He asks, giving me a grin and a wink. I shove his arm slightly which makes him nudge me back. Which leads to me doing the same…

Until finally he's chasing me down empty hallways. I nearly scream in pure terror when he grabs my waist.

"Gotcha." He whispers in my ear. I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?" I whisper back, repeating his words said almost two years ago.

I feel his arms tense around my waist. "I said that in our interview, real or not real?"

Confused I answer his question. "Real." I feel his arms relax and him release a breath against my neck. We stay like that for a few minutes, him holding my waist and me leaning against him. He buries his head in my hair and hums, kissing my head every so often. I feel him loosen his grip and he steps back from me. I turn and meet his eyes. Giving me a half smile, he brushes hair out of my face. I can't help it, I brush my hand against his cheek, stand on my tiptoes, and kiss him. It's a quick kiss, but it still leaves me wanting more.

"Where were you headed to?" He asks me as we pull apart.

"Hm?"

"When you were trying to avoid me… where were you going?"

"Oh, yeah. Follow me." I grab his hand and lead him down more hallways and empty rooms. We walk with a pleasant silence around us. Just enjoying the other's presence.

He's the one to break the silence. "How much longer? My legs hurts." He whines, pulling me closer. I roll my eyes and open the final door.

"This is the only hiding spot they haven't found… so don't tell anyone." I whisper, giving him a pointed look.

"And who exactly would I tell?" I give him another look. "Okay, okay, fine. I promise." I swing the door open and walk inside.

"Katniss, I can't see a damn thing." Peeta whispers. I roll my eyes again and flip on the light switch. The lights from above cast a dull yellow glow on the room.

"Is this…?"

"Yep."

"But… I didn't think these were actually around anymore. I thought the capitol burned down the last of them."

"This is the last one I suppose. And it's pretty amazing, all these books. So many things we don't even know, Peeta. So much we're not told."

"Ancient history." He whispers, his fingers running down spines of all the old books. Dust seems to cloud and form above us, but neither of us cares at this moment.

He pulls a book from the shelf. "The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe." He reads the title aloud.

"Read me something." I whisper, sitting down on a chair. As I sit a cloud of dust erupts from the chair, leaving me coughing. Peeta laughs at my misfortune and sits in the chair next to mine. He flips the book open to a random page. I look around the abandoned forgotten library, wondering how a government could withhold so much information. Thousands upon thousands of words we're never allowed to read.

"This one's called Annabel Lee." He clears his throat and begins.

"It was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea, that a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Annabel Lee. And this maiden she lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by me."

I was a child and she was a child, in this kingdom by the sea; but we loved with a love that was more than love-I and my Annabel Lee; with a love that the winged seraphs of heaven coveted her and me. And this was the reason that, long ago, in this kingdom by the sea, a wind blew out of a cloud, chilling my beautiful Annabel Lee; so that her highborn kinsman came and bore her away from me, to shut her up in a sepulchre in this kingdom by the sea. The angels, not half so happy in heaven, went envying her and me- Yes! - That was the reason, as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea." He stops reading and skims the rest of the poem. He frowns and sighs.

"I _knew_ it." He whispers. I'm confused, not exactly following the old English. But the words impress me nonetheless. He continues to read

"That the wind came out of the cloud by night, chilling and killing my Annabel Lee." And then the poem makes sense to me. The sorrow of the author, pours into the cracks in my confusion."

"But our love it was stronger by far than the love, of those who were older than we- of many far wiser than we- and neither the angels in heaven above, nor the demons down under the sea, can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee." Peeta smiles lightly and glances up at me. I can't help but smile at the small gesture.

"For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee; and the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes of the beautiful Annabel Lee; and so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride, in the sepulchre there by the sea." He pauses and takes in a breath.

Softly he reads the last line. "In her tomb by the sounding sea." We sit in silence processing what he just read. I stand and sit in his lamp, his arms encircle my waist.

Resting my forehead on his, I smile. I kiss his nose, causing him to grin at me. And then he leans in. Our lips meet and I can't help but smile. And then a thought betrays me.

_I can't believe you're smiling while she lays dead._

I pull away from Peeta quickly, my eyes wide. My breathing become short and clipped. My fingernails dig into Peeta's arm. A worried look washes over his face and he holds me tighter.

"Shhh. It's okay. I promise, it's okay."

"No it's not!" I shriek at him. "She's gone! She's never coming back!" I hit his shoulder over and over, screaming and sobbing.

He lets me hit him and when I fall into his shoulder, he rubs my back; drawing shapes. He whispers soft words of reassurance and peppers my face with soft small kisses. When I've cried myself out, I pull away from his shoulder.

He wipes stray tears and kisses my forehead. "You okay now?"

"Yeah, sorry about your shirt." I say, gesturing to his tear soaked shoulder. "And your shoulder…" I add sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it," He says, offering me a smile, showing his perfect white teeth. "As long as you're alright." I hug him, my arms wrapping around his neck. He rests his head in the crook of my neck.

I hum softly and stroke his blond hair. My head resting on the chair. I hum the valley song a feel him smile.

"The Valley Song," he says, pulling away, smiling at me. "You should sing for me." I shake my head, continuing to hum. My fingers playing with his.

"Please?" I shake my head again and he sighs. "Fine but you owe me a song."

"Fair enough." I suppose that's good enough for him because he rests his head back down.

A comfortable silence surrounds over us and everything is peaceful. I can't help but close my eyes, completely content.

A few minutes later he breaks the silence. "Katniss?"

"Hm?" I don't open my eyes, waiting for the question.

"Did you love Gale during our first games?" This question makes my eyes flash open.

"Why are you asking?"

"Because, they showed me a video… in the cave, when I was sleeping… you were crying for Gale." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, knowing for a fact that never happened.

"That never happened, and besides it wouldn't really sell the whole star-crossed lovers bit, now would it?" I tell him, trying to be reassuring. I hold his hand and run my thumb over his knuckles, trying to soothe his headache, which I know he has.

"Yeah," He says, not meeting my eyes. "Suppose not." He bites his lip and braves a glance at me. I offer a smile, which he returns half-heartedly.

"To answer your question," I start "No, I wasn't in love with Gale and I never will be. I love him as a brother, nothing more."

"Okay," he whispers. "Katniss, I'm confused. Some memories I'm sure of, others I'm not. And I… I don't know anymore. It makes my head pound and my stomach hurt and I don't know whether to rip my eyes out of their sockets or smash my skull in" This confession, seems to be hard for him to admit. Peeta, wanting so bad to be strong, to be someone I can lean on.

"Please don't do any of those," I say, "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." The words flow from my mouth without warning.

He gives me a look I can't place exactly, causing me to look down sheepishly. He tilts my chin up to look at him. I'm met with a lopsided grin.

"You have a remarkable memory." He teases, pecking my cheek.

"Yes, well, what can I say? I started paying attention." Another lopsided grin. He continues to tease me.

Lowering his voice, and putting on a serious face, he says, "It's not like I had much competition."

"You never have competition anywhere," I tease back, and this time it's me who leans in, locking our lips. I feel him smile in the kiss as his hands grip my waist securely. My hands go from his neck, to his face, to his hair; tangling themselves in his blond locks. We pull apart and lock eyes.

And then the words tumble out. Words I don't say often, words he needs to hear.

"I love you."

**Wow okay. So that was just a fluffy chapter to kind of make up for not really being here… ehehehe. Sorry about that. (: I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this story to be perfectly honest. **

**I was thinking potential sequel, but who the hell knows at this point. Don't forget to review! It means the world to me (: **

**The poem in this was "Annabel Lee" by my favorite poet right now, Edgar Allan Poe. **

**ALSO I OWN NOTHING. **


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